Potty Training Time!

Okay, we're starting to gear up for potty training time in my house, and I could TOTALLY take any advice anyone has to offer! I've been looking at potty training charts online for one that I like to download and print, but I can't seem to find any I like, so I'm trying to create my own. I can't decide what the best way to lay it out is, though, and I'll take any suggestions on that as well. Obviously, broken down by day is good. But one thing I think I like is to break it into categories, like "Go Fast!" "Go Potty," "Wash Hands," "DRY DAY!!" as opposed to breaking it into times of day. However, I don't want there to be only one spot to check off under each day... does that even make any sense??

This is what I came up with on my own, and I would love some feedback:
Potty Chart

Anyone have any other thoughts?

Family Promise National Conference, 2010 - Orlando

This is the write up I did for my boss and the board of directors for work about my experience at the conference I just attended, so keep in mind that this is primarily geared towards the people I work with, but I really wanted to share my thoughts. Please feel free to let me know what you think!
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I wanted to start my description of the Family Promise conference, Dare to Dream, with some startling statistic or an interesting fact. The truth is, I can’t pick just one thing to start with. Maybe it’s that a startling 92% of homeless mothers are survivors of some kind of trauma. Maybe it’s that nationally, 3,450 families were served by IHN’s and Family Promise networks all over the country. Or perhaps, it’s just the reminder of what the broader Family Promise program is – a place to take care of people, love them, guide them, and steer them back into the communities the families so long to return to.

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. The conference began on Friday morning with sessions for program staff. The first session I attended was on Trauma Informed Service with Families in Crisis. This is where I learned the statistic about the homeless mothers and traumatic events. Often times, this is where homelessness begins for these families, and it just compounds as the families move into our program. So, why should Family Promise staff care about these traumatic events? For one, these survivors can present a unique set of challenges to case management. These people can appear “non-compliant” with the program, or may appear to have ADHD. They can also appear to completely dissociate from everyone – “spacing out” or having “inappropriate emotions” such as smiling while discussing rape.

There are two different types of trauma that people can experience – Acute (such as a natural disaster or a car accident), and Complex (exposure to multiple traumatic events such as abuse). People suffering from Acute Trauma will likely move on with minimal amounts of assistance, where as people suffering from Complex Trauma are completely unaware that there is a different reality from the one they’ve known. Think for a second about how you feel after having a car accident: your heart starts racing, your palms are sweaty, and you don’t really know what to think or feel. People suffering from Traumatic Stress feel like this all the time. There are a lot of signs that people in our programs have been through some sort of trauma, and as the case manager, I now believe that it is my role to advocate for these people when I begin seeing these signs and symptoms before allowing their situation to get any worse.

It isn’t our job as staff or volunteers to provide counseling for them, but it is our job to make sure they get the help that they need. With that said, we can make accommodations for these people to help them regain control of their lives again, such as having well lit halls and bathrooms in our faith communities, making sure guests have privacy when changing their clothes or bathing. Even things like the temperature or the number of people at a church can affect how comfortable someone feels. Did you know that people who have experienced multiple traumatic events actually are cooler in temperature than those who have not? Though faith communities may be trying to save money on their heating bills, this may cause great discomfort to our guests, and we need to be aware of this.

I believe that it is essential to make sure that the board, staff and volunteers receive proper training on how to work effectively with guests who are suffering from traumatic stress, and would like to encourage the board and program director to look into this possibility, and I would be thoroughly happy to help with this.

The biggest thing that we, as the staff, board and volunteers need to remember for our guests is that we can’t get secure in who we think our guests are, but to look at who they really are. Not every guest that comes through our doors are “just like us, but homeless.” If the volunteers begin talking to our guests, and information begins to come out about a traumatic event that happened in that guests life, it isn’t the volunteers responsibility to counsel them through it. It is their responsibility to notify the staff, so that the appropriate referrals can be made.

We also have to keep an environment of self care for the staff. We need to demonstrate how to care for ourselves so our guests can learn to care for themselves. “It’s not healthy or a badge of honor that you don’t take a vacation or turn off your phone,” as the presenter said. We have to remember that we, as caregivers, can experience vicarious trauma by working with the guests we work with. As the Dali Lama put it, “In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering… if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have long-term perspective.”

This is a great lead in to describing a session I attended called Self Care – Knowing Your Boundaries. Hospitality is all about breaking boundaries, but some boundaries are good. They help preserve identity, prevent people from being used, and create respect. Some boundaries are about saying yes or no, but some are about setting limits. They allow us to connect without absorbing, or being absorbed by, others. It isn’t wrong to recognize our limits, but acknowledging them is the most difficult. The best quote I took from there is that “the end of boundaries is not freedom, the end of boundaries is the end of life.”

Knowing our limits can prevent us as staff, board and volunteers from becoming arrogant about our helping. We are not here to feed our own egos. We may try to remake our guests into our own image, instead of helping them become the person they are but we need to remember that this is the family’s journey, and we need to let them take it with our assistance. It isn’t our journey to take for the guests. They need to be allowed to do for themselves.

One great thing that our volunteers, staff and board can do is be an advocate for those who are experiencing homelessness. The 2010 advocacy campaign that Family Promise is rolling it is through a part of the program called Voices Uniting. The theme is “A Place To Call Home.”  Many people already acquainted with Family Promise are advocates but aren’t aware of it. People don’t have to know a lot to become an advocate, just talk about what they know. We need to encourage guests and former guests to take part as well. We need to involved our state and local congress people – bring them in to volunteer, or get someone on their staff to do it! Let’s get involved in writing our state and local senators and representatives and create broad based partnerships. The stronger our partners, the better!

Some interesting statistics that our advocates can share:

·         Nationally, we are 3.1 million homes short. That means that for every 40 homes there are, we need an additional one.

·         There are only 37 rental homes available and affordable for every 100 households with incomes below 30% of their area’s median income.

·         Approximately 1.5 million children experience homelessness in any given year.

·         The high school graduation rate for homeless students is less than 25%

·         There is no city or county anywhere in the U.S. where a worker making the minimum wage can afford a fair market rate one-bedroom apartment.

I’ve included at the end of this report some charts I made up with resources I was introduced to in this workshop as well. They are some interesting fast facts about poverty and homeless rates both nationally and state wide.

Family Mentoring is a great way to take advocacy down to a personal level. Mentors help families still living in the communities to access resources and develop their life skills. Typically, these are volunteers who complete special training for the program to become a family mentor. Mentors are able to utilize resources available from Family Promise, such as the Interfaith Self-Sufficiency Matrix to help a family determine where they are at. A great part of this workshop was being able to do a personality strength indicator that lets people see how they work with other people and what motivates them. Once I calculated my score, I was able to see on paper what my strengths are (I’m a Golden Retriever, by the way) and can have a good understanding of where I may need to adapt to be more effective with the guests in our program.

A great resource for people that are facing homelessness is the Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-housing program. People that qualify for this program need to make 50% or less of the Area Median Income and are in need of temporary assistance to end or prevent homelessness. However, they must have the capacity to remain stable when the assistance ends.

One key interesting point is how differently the program is run in different states. Many states run HPRP for only 3 months, while in NH, residents get services for 6 months. The assistance can come in the form of helping with rental assistance or arrears in rent, utility assistance or arrears in utilities, deposits, moving costs and hotel/motel vouchers. People also get case management services from an HPRP case manager, outreach services, housing search and placement, legal services and credit repair, though not all facilities providing HPRP services need to offer all of those services. Some presenters at the session offered only the case management, others offered all but legal services. It still seems that there is a lot of confusion among people about the program, and it is possible that the program may be extended, but many of the questions won’t be answered until all states have utilized all the monies available. It is a “learn as you go” process.

Outside of all the sessions I sat in for at the conference, the best parts were the networking, meeting new people and learning about how other Family Promise organizations run. I talked to people who hadn’t even incorporated a Network yet, and people who have been directors for 13 years. I made some great connections with people, and believe I learned as much from them as I did in all the planning sessions. I would certainly enjoy attending another conference again in 2011.

Housing Matters National State Fair market rent for a two-bedroom apartment $959 $1,023  Housing Wage (required to afford a two-bedroom apartment) $18.44  $19.67  Actual average renter's wage $14.44   $14.08 Minimum wage $7.25  $7.25 Weekly hours of work required at minimum wage to afford to rent a two-bedroom apartment 102   109

  

Our Children, Our Future	National	New Hampshire (2008)
Child Poverty in the United States
Number of children living in poverty	14,068,000	25,622
Percentage of children living in poverty	19%	8.8%
Percentage of children living in extreme poverty	7.8%	4.0%
Number of children who receive food stamps	12,559,379	25,313
Percentage of eligible people who receive food stamps	65%	55%
Number of children who are victims of abuse and neglect	905,000	822
Child Poverty and Race
Percentage of white children in poverty	13.3%	8.4%
Percentage of black children in poverty	34.5%	--
Percentage of Asian children in poverty	12%	--
Uninsured Children
Number of children without health insurance	8,900,000	21,000
Percentage of all children uninsured	11.3%	6.6%

Who Is My Neighbor?	National	State	County (Strafford)
Percent of People Below the Poverty Line	13.2%	7.6%	10.7%
Number of People Below the Poverty Line	39,829,000	97,158	12,365
Percent of Children Below the Poverty Line	19%	9%	9.0%
Number of Children Below the Poverty Line	14,068,000	25,878	2,321
Median Income by Household	$52,175	$63,989	$60,230

  

Who Is My Neighbor?	National	State	County (Rockingham)
Percent of People Below the Poverty Line	13.2%	7.6%	4.0%
Number of People Below the Poverty Line	39,829,000	97,158	11,902
Percent of Children Below the Poverty Line	19%	9%	3.4%
Number of Children Below the Poverty Line	14,068,000	25,878	2,290
Median Income by Household	$52,175	$63,989	$75,424

Florida! Sunshine! HOT!

I just got in from my conference in Orlando yesterday, and had a great time! I definitely plan on sharing all about it, but I don't really have the time for a lengthy post right now.

I just wanted to share that we got there safe and sound, and made it home in one piece, slightly sunburned, but no worse for wear!

I will share all about the awesome time I had at the conference, as well as at Universal Studios (which I'd never visited before), but that will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow!