Countdown is almost over!

It's Sunday. We move on Tuesday. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am!!! Getting into our own house and everything - I can't believe this is really happening! I have a picture of it on my desktop, and sometimes, when I look at it, it just hits me - this is going to be ours! It will be our place, not my parents, not John's parents. Ours to do with whatever we like - plant whatever flowers we want, paint rooms whatever color we want... The list goes on. It's the coolest feeling in the world!
The packing and stuff really got to me last night. It hadn't been until last night, when I was looking around at all of the stuff we still hadn't packed yet, that I just went to John and told him that it was really starting to stress me out. But John got a lot of the kitchen packed, and I did a lot around my desk and doing some of my clothes and shoes and such. I didn't "pack" a lot of my clothes, but I left some out that are the ones that I'm going to wear for the next few days, basically making the rest of my wardrobe off limits. Though I am going to go through all of my clothes again today and weed out anything that I don't wear often enough to pack and take with us, so that way I can bring it over to Goodwill tonight. Convenient having a Goodwill right across the street.
My Pampered Chef business did very well during the month of May. I qualified easily, having one show that reached almost $1000 on it's own, then another the very next day that reached over $500. That was incredibly exciting!!! I earn a bunch of new free things because of it now! However, my bookings (the shows I have booked) for the month of June are non-existant. I'm running a catalog show, which is great, but I really need the sales for the month of June, and it's not looking like it's going to be a very strong month. So, if anyone is interested in earning some free and discounted kitchen items, please contact me!!! Catalog shows are the easist thing in the world to do, so if you live a ways away from me, that's no problem! Or, if you just don't have the time to do a cooking show, that's no problem either! If you're not interested, I appreciate referrals!!!
Okay, enough groveling now. Friday I chaperoned John's 7/8th grade band field trip to the Great East festival and to 6 Flags. The festival went so well - both the chorus and the band got gold medals, which was very exciting. The kids were all on their best behavior at the festival itself, so that was good. When we got to 6 Flags, the weather was decent, but after we got in the park, John and I went on a couple of rides, and suddenly the skies just opened and it started POURING. So we (and all of the other chaperones) managed to get all or most of the kids together, and say "okay, do you want to stay?" (Keep in mind, because of the weather, they shut down most of the rides.) Most said yes, some said no, but we waited it out, and said we'd all check in again at 5. That seems to have worked out, when we reconvened, again, most said "we want to stay!!" because they had opened all of the rides back up again. So finally we were like "Fine, but at 6:30, that's it, we're done." So that went over moderately well for the most part. There were some kids that were just soaked all day, and most of them didn't seem to care. I was freezing, but I was glad the kids were having fun. That's who we were there for, it was most of the Chaperones that wanted to leave early. So I was glad that we stayed until 6:30. That was only an hour earlier than we were scheduled to leave, so it worked out.
I should probably go eat some breakfast or something. We have all this food that we're trying to use up before we move, and there's an entire gallon of milk in the fridge that we have 2.5 days to use up. Oops. I guess we thought we'd go through it faster.
Oh, and *hugs* to Kim for being accepted onto SSI, I'm very excited for her. And thanks to her and Chris for coming up to help with the big move on Tuesday. We appreciate it guys!

Whew!

All I have to say is T G I F dude. I'm beat! Fortunately I was out of my training by 1pm, and I took comp. time for the remainder of the afternoon, which was good, because I really need to catch up on some sleep. Last night was my big night out on the town - small town girl driving down to Boston all by herself! It was great though. I went to Harpers Ferry to see my buddy Mike Previti's CD release show. If you've looked at my last few postings, you'll see that it's all I've been listening to. If you went out in bought it, you know why. =) If you haven't bought it yet, I'm not speaking to you again until you own it. And it has to be a legal copy. Don't try to download it for free. I'll beat you up if I find out you're doing that. =) Okay, not really, but you get the idea.

ANYWAY... I went to Allston last night, and the show was AWESOME!!!! Not that I would have expected anything less from Mike. But even so - I can't even begin to put into words how excited I was to be there, and to hang out with him and Mic and all of the rest of the guys in the band, and all this other stuff. Once I learn how to post pictures in this blog, I'll put some up from the show. For now, you'll just have to look at my Yahoo! Photos site.

So, now that I've talked about that... There isn't much more to write about! 11 days until we're into our house and I am so excited! We're having a "Load the U-Haul party" on Monday the 29th if anyone wants to come help us get everything into the truck. We're having an "Unload the U-Haul party" at the new house on the 30th, if anyone wants to help us get it all out again =) Okay, I guess thats about it for now. Again, Mike, awesome show last night - let's not wait another 6 years to do it again!

Rain, rain, go away

I am so sick of this rain! It's enough to make a woman crazy! They said the sun may come out for a few hours on Wednesday. For the first time in almost 2 weeks, I think that will make it. There's all this crazy flooding, and I'm going nuts waiting to hear from our realtor who was supposed to put in a call to the selling agent of the house we're buying. Half of Rochester was evacuated, and we're trying to find out what, if any, damage there was to our house! It's something I think we'd be entitled to know about.
Besides, the rain is just depressing. It's so hard to get up and go to work when it's POURING out.
Anyway, I've got to go switch the laundry. Again. Just wanted to make the 2 WEEKS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!!! post. Because I'm so excited to be in our house!!!

This is where I'm at today

Work was really hard today. I've gotten three new assessments in the last three days. Today, my new assessment was a sexual abuse case - kid on kid. Not fun. So I spent the day today trying to figure out what was going on with this family, not to mention trying to track down a few other families today, and going to a court hearing this morning. I should have stayed out of this one that I went to the court hearing on, because I know just enough about this assessment to be called to testify. I am not excited about that.

Anyway, I've been feeling really crappy lately. Not so much physically crappy (although that's been there too), but emotionally crappy. Have you ever suddenly realized that you don't have a best friend? I mean, I have John, and that's wonderful, but I don't have a best girl friend. Everyone I've ever considered my best friend I've realized they don't consider me as such. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't have friends, because I do, I have LOTS of them. But the one person I have to confide in like crazy I pay $120 an hour. And as much as I like her too, it's not a friendship.

The last training I went to brought up some serious issues for me too. That's probably where some of this sudden onset of self-pity is coming from. The training I went to was on Separation and Placement. When the training started, I realized that I wanted to look at my adoption history to see how many placements I had. My adoption was my 4th placement. I started off thinking that I was normal, that no issues arose from me being bounced that many times in 15 months. Apparently, I was wrong. I've come to realize that I do have an attachment problem, but not that I don't form attachments to people, it's that I believe I form these attachments in my mind, thinking that I've become best friends with someone that I've only known for a couple of days. Then I get all upset when I realize that's not the case. Another thing I've realized that I care deeply about what people think of me, despite what I say. And I don't think it's a self-esteem issue. I think it's an attachment thing. I want so desperately for people to like me that I will try most anything to be what people want me to be, or what they think I should be. Perhaps coming to these realizations will help immensely with my relationship with my parents. Then again, maybe it won't. But at any rate, these realizations are helping me to separate from my parents.

Anyway... I don't want to go into it anymore. But for those of you who were wondering what's wrong, there's a taste of it. The rest of the issues I'm having right now are things that I need to talk to people individually about.

But thanks for listening anyway.

Sometimes I think...

Sometimes I'm convinced that MySpace is the best site on the internet. It just allowed me to reconnect with someone I haven't spoken to since I was about a junior in high school! And now, he's in the Army over in Baghdad! It was so exciting to hear from him yesterday. We spent a ton of time e-mailing back and forth, just getting caught up with each other. It's hard to sum up 7 years in an e-mail, but we've managed to do alright :-)
I love it when stuff like that happens. It's weird, the timing of it too, because I was just somewhere where I had thought of him, and it was recent too! So that was just funny. But I love getting to reconnect with old friends and seeing or hearing from people I haven't heard from in a long time. I think I realized to late that I had the best group of friends in high school. We were all, for the most part, pretty good kids. We were fun, and funny, and there was always someone to go to if there was a problem or if you needed help or anything like that. I miss those days!
Okay, I'm feeling a little nostalgic, I guess. Maybe it's the time of year - we're starting to get into the graduation times. I should know this is going to happen to me, it does every single year! But it's nice being able to find these people again, and at least be able to e-mail with them, if nothing more.
It's strange how your relationships with people evolve over time. The older you get, the more focused on one person you become. Like, if you asked me now, who my best friend is, I would say John. But if you asked me 7 years ago I would have said Jo, and Soni, and Sarah and... and... and.... It's all part of normal development (believe me, I know, I sit through hours of training on it), but it's just a strange phenomenon. Sometimes I wish that I could maintain the same types of friendships I had in high school today. Or even in college! I had great friends in college as well, and even a lot of them I've lost touch with. Sad, isn't it?
So I guess that's really about all I have to write about. I have stuff I need to get done before heading out to my training today, so I'm going to work on showering and getting dressed and such. So, people, track me down, say hi, all that good stuff!