A week in review

I figured I'd updated everyone thus far on the week. I've been sick. There you have it. I think I've got some kind of flu, but it's lasted about 4 days. I called my doctors office finally and was able to get in for an appointment today at 1. I was out sick Monday and Tuesday, worked yesterday, but felt awful, then took off today again. I'm feeling awful about taking off the time when I've only got three weeks left at my job, but if I'm sick, I can't be passing it on to coworkers and clients. I e-mailed John today and jokingly said that maybe my doctor would write me a note allowing me to leave my job earlier without having to pay back the grant. But, it has happened - someone in the office told me that they've known other people in my position that have had letters written by their doctor so they could get out of the requirements, and I'm wondering if that would be the best idea for me.

I put in my application to the administrative secretary job at John's school yesterday. John dropped it off at the SAU. Apparently, I am one of 36 or 37 people that have applied for the job. Ugh. I was really excited about it, but now I doubt that I'll be even called for an interview. I'm putting in an application for a part time job at NHCTC in Stratham as a campus services coordinator. So I'm excited about that too. I'm going to get that in the mail today. It's only 29 hours a week, which is only 8.5 hours less per week than I work now, but at the least, I'll be making the same amount of money (when you break my salary down per hour).

So with this compiled with a bunch of family stuff going on right now, things have been stressful. I had a really good appointment with my therapist last night, and we'll see what happens with the doctors today. I'd love for the doctor to tell me that it's morning sickness, but I know it's not, because I took a test this morning, and it was negative. I guess it's the flu...

Finally some good news!

I had my first Weight Watchers weigh in tonight - and wouldn't you know it? I lost three pounds this week! WAHOO!!! I'm really proud of myself, and I hope to keep it going!
Also, an administrative secretary job opened up at John's school today, and I'm desperately trying to get an application done for it. I e-mailed three people that are on my reference list to see if they would do letters of recommendation for me, but I hadn't heard back from ANY of them! I am DESPERATE to get in an application quickly, because I REALLY want that job! So everyone say a prayer for me okay?!
Is there anyone in the Rochester area that would be willing to bring my dog to the Blue Seal in Rochester this weekend so he can have his picture taken with Santa? I was so excited to do it, because the proceeds to go support a group home in Rochester. I can't take him now, because we have to go to my aunts funeral in Vermont that day. Granted, it's a very good reason to miss a photo with Santa, but I was really looking forward to doing it. I even got him a "Merry X-Mas" bandana, that has the X in X-mas as two dog bones!
Oh well. That's about all the news from here... only 1 month left at my job!

Still no news...

...on what's going on with my aunt. I haven't heard from my parents all day. I haven't wanted to call them, because I don't want to interrupt them in case they're in the middle of something really important. At the same time, I have been waiting for them to call me all day, and I haven't heard from them. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I really asking that everyone pray as hard as they can for my aunt. I firmly believe that she could pull out of this if enough love, happy thoughts, and prayers are sent her way.

I guess on a bit of a lighter note, there isn't much other news to report. I tried to make fudge for the first time ever today. It was a recipe that I found on the Weight Watchers (WW) website, so we'll see how it comes out. If it sucks, I may have to try making something else for the party at work. If it comes out okay though, then I've got the batch already made. So I guess it's a win/win all the way around.

No one has an advent wreath they'd be willing to part with, do they? I wanted to make one, but I don't want to trekk all the way down to the AC Moore in Portsmouth to get the stuff to make one. I tried going to the Ben Franklin Crafts in Somersworth. I ended up with some really great yarn, and a new pair of bamboo knitting needles, but nothing to make an advent wreath with! They had the rings I could use, but they didn't have anything to use for candle holders. I guess it's a little late now, to be looking for an advent wreath.

Well, in the course of writing this, I just got word that it is all over... My aunt has passed away. Fortunately, my grandad was able to come up from Florida and say goodbye too. I was going to go over today, but it would have been a 5 hour drive, and I can't miss work tomorrow, especially since I don't know if I'll have to miss it for a funeral this week or not.

Anyway, I'm going to get going now.

Insert creative, witty subject line here

Well, John and I have been doing well getting all of the Christmas decorating done. We're hosting the RK gathering on the 23rd, which should be an adventure. Not in a bad way - though it will be interesting to see what happens with our dog and all the people over here trying to play spoons or DDR or whatever.
For the record, just because the gathering is happening at my house doesn't mean I'm playing spoons. I haven't played spoons since high school. There is a reason for that. Don't ask me to play, because I won't.

There, now that we've cleared that up...

I got some really sad news today - my Aunt Debbie, my dad's oldest sister, had a massive stroke this morning. Last weekend she was at my Aunt Joan's house, and she wasn't feeling so well. She was having double vision, and lines through her vision. She called her doctor, who said it was most likely an ocular migraine. So she called my mom, who talked to the doctor she works with. That doctor said "No, I think she should call a neurologist." So she did. They did an MRI of her head and a CT scan too. They couldn't find anything wrong. She got the results back on Thursday, and she called my parents so relieved that everything was fine. She had a few of her grandkids over at her house with her that night, and she was so happy that everything was okay. Then today, she went to the doctors, and the next thing, she was admitted into the hospital, and she had had a massive stroke. She was paralyzed on her left side, but she was able to call my uncle (my dad has 3 siblings). I don't really know what happened after that, but the next thing, she was in a vegitative state on life support. As soon as they shut off the life support, she will die. They've been waiting to do that until her daughter, one of my cousins, makes it to Vermont. My cousin was on vacation in Las Vegas, and was trying to get the next flight out. Which means that by this time tomorrow, my aunt will have likely passed away.

I don't really know what to think about this. This is the second death in my family this year. My poor Granddad (my dads dad) has now outlived his wife and one of his children. I keep wondering if I talked to my Aunt when we had our Thanksgiving get together. Not that it would bring her back to life if I had, but I don't even remember saying hi, or hugging her, or saying good bye, or even Happy Thanksgiving. It's amazing what loosing a relative makes you realize. And her death has affected me even more than I would have expected. I always felt like she was the most supportive person on my dads side of the family (my father aside). I guess I felt the closest to her than any of my other relatives on that side. I felt like she was always interested in me and what I was doing. I'm so grateful that I was able to get married before she, and my grandfather, passed away this year. I wish my Grampa M. had been alive to see it though.

It just makes me realize that I need to start really doing the things I love more. I'm taking the first step by having joined Weight Watchers. So far, that's making me really happy, knowing I've made a healthy, positive change in my life. Second, I'm leaving my job that makes me miserable. That's really important to me too.

I'm going to finish this later...

Nothing really to report

I don't have any real news, but I figured after two quiz postings, I should do a real update.

So... I'm still leaving my job on the 12th of January, and I CANNOT wait. I'm so excited to get into something new and different. I'm really hoping to sort out if I want to be in the school environment, or if I want to go back to nursing school, because they both totally have their perks. Of course, I could always go to nursing school, then become a school nurse, that would be fun. But I don't know. It would be really nice to work on a similar schedule to John, because then when we get around to having kids, we'll have the times the kids are with a sitter, and then the times that we're both home. Unless one of us goes out to do something like John at rehearsals, or me at... something. So for the time being, I'm set up to substitute in Laconia. But I've got to find something more permanent than that. I keep perusing the help wanted ads on schoolspring.com but have yet to come across something I can do that's a decent drive from here. I'm going to pick up the Sunday paper today and see what's in that. I've applied for a guidance counselor position in Farmington, and I've also applied for a social worker position at Exeter Hospital, but never heard back on either one. It's hard, because I'm still with the state for another 5 or 6 weeks, and most places are looking for someone who can start immediately.

Other than that, I really don't have much to write about. So I'm going to go see if I have time to finish FFIX before mass or if I should wait until this afternoon

More quiz goodness

What's your inner power? (Girls only sorry. Beautiful anime pictures, lengthy results)

Uniqueness- Your inner power is Uniqueness! You are very different from everyone around you, and you like it that way. In fact, youd be furious if you were anything else. To the world outside you are a buoyant, fun loving person, and are probably pretty popular. Yet deep down you feel the urge to be accepted as who you are, and desperately want someone who is truly there for you. You are very indecisive and change your mind regularly over just about anything. Youre very opinionated, and bulldoze over anyone who doesnt share your views. At times you can be very depressed, though few people realise it with your animated personality. You are great fun to be around, and enjoy shocking people with your out there views and beliefs. At times however, your urge to be different can work against you, as people dont often enjoy their ideas of right and wrong having any shades of grey. But dont let them get to you; youre an awesome person who many love. You have no doubt heaps of friends, but dont always have that close friend/s that you want and need. You strive to be accepted for who you are, and are protective and loyal to those who earn your trust. Although at times you think there may be no one there, look around. There is someone in the shadows who desperately wants to be your friend, who maybe you just havent noticed. Dont let anyone get you down, youre the one who gives this boring world excitement and culture. Keep it up! Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: Someone different and independent. Someone who isnt your typical male/female, who can accept that not everything has to be black and white, and yes, there are many, many shades of grey. Your stone/jewel: Amethyst Your power: Difference/Change. This is the ability to make a difference in the world, to create new ideas and opinions, and to open up the minds of others to show that there is more than one shade of grey. Your element: Electricity/Lightening A quote that applies to you: "Id much rather to be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not."
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

The Maid of Honor Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf) Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor. Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you. Your exact opposite: Half-cocked Random Brutal Sex Dreamer We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself. Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them. ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you. Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

11 through 15

So, okay, in getting back to my "Big 35 List," I've got a few more things to add:

11. Talk to Stephanie and Josh more
12. Get some nice professional pictures of John and I
13. Get to 2 more Mike Previti concerts!!!
14. Paint my computer room
15. Purchase a 5 or 6 foot tall book case for the computer room.

Love it, love it, love it!

Life is pretty darn good right now. For those who haven't heard (and that's most of you) I gave my notice at work. My last day is January 12, and I CAN'T WAIT. Counting down the days now. So that will be good. I'm planning on substitute teaching in Laconia. I've got some job applications out too, but we'll see where those go. I've got a few to apply for still also.

Second, Thanksgiving was pretty nice. John didn't feel like it was Thanksgiving - I have to agree with him for the most part, but ti was still nice to have the family get together for a nice meal and some together time. I have to say - I've got lots to be thankful for! First - my amazing husband, who always seems to be able to pick me up when I am down. Second, my family - of origin (Stephy and Josh!!!), adopted, and in-laws. I am blessed to have such a great family. Third, my beautiful home - I'm so lucky that we have the means to have a nice house in wonderful neighborhood. Fourth, my friends - you all - the privileged ones that get to read my inner-most thoughts! Last - my pets. They keep me sane. =)

Finally tonight - John and I saw the Trans Siberian Orchestra today. OH MY GOD. I LOVE THEM. I could marry them all. Except the girls. Not so much there. Their concerts just rock more than anything in this world! If you EVER get the chance to see them live - I STRONGLY suggest you go!!

Anyway - it's time for some foodage. Janelle - it was so great seeing you today! I'm sorry your drive home is so aggravating for you. Next time, bring Daniel!

Me next!

he Basic Stuff

Name?: Melissa
Age?: 25
Height?: 5'6"
Weight?: don't you know it's not polite to ask a woman how much she weighs?!
Birthday?: August 19
Birthplace?: The hospital of course!
Current Location?: NH
School/Grade?: I have a bachelors degree
Zodiac Sign?: I'm a Leo, hear me rawr!
Chinese Zodiac Sign?: Rooster
Righty or Lefty?: Right
Haircolor?: Brown
Eyecolor?: Also brown
Skin Color?: White, not that it matters

About You

What's Your Family Situation: I have one
Any Pets?: I live in a zoo
If So What Are They?: Molly, Maggie and Kane
Favorite Relative?: My husband
Least Favorite Relative?: uh..I really shouldn't answer this one lol <--- what Kim said
What's Your Heritage/Race?: Depends on my mood - by blood I'm German w/ French extraction (whatever that means) but I consider myself English.
Political Affilation?: That's one of the things that should never be discussed at the dinner table

Love & Sex (aka, the TMI section ^.~ lol!)

Sexuality?: I'm straight
Are You In A Relationship Now?: totally married =)
If So, With Whom?: John!!
For How Long?: We've been together for... umm... 2.5 years, give or take, and have been married for almost 1.5
Are You In Love?: Yes
Do You Have A Crush On Anyone?: Sure
Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex?: Umm, no
How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss?: 13
Virgin?: I'm married, you do the math
If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time?: I'm not even going there
Was It Enjoyable?: see above
What's The Farthest You've Ever Gone?: how does that even make sense, if I just said that I'm married?
Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed?: Only one person needs to know that
Best Love Quote?: "I love you."

Your Friends

Best?: Yeah, I like them.
How Many Do You Have?: A few close ones
More Guys Or Girls?: Used to be more guys than girls, but not so much anymore
Love Them All?: Why would I be friends with someone I hated?
Any You Wish You Were Closer To?: Proximity wise, I would say Janelle, but otherwise, not at the moment
Oldest?: Sarah Skillin
Newest?: Kim, I guess
Pen Pal?: I haven't had one of those since I was in 3rd grade

Friends And Words: Associate Them

Pen: pencil
Flower: power!
Pink: Victorias Secret
Window: Pane
Heart: throb
Mother: in-law
Bread: machine
Insane: me!
Sunglasses: I have some =)
Pimp: Aaron
Cross: Jesus
Lonely: sad
Car: pool
Music: John

This Or That

Boxers or Briefs?: Depends on who's wearing them =)
Thongs or G-Strings?: Neither, thanks
Shorts or Pants?: pajama bottoms
Shoes or Barefeet?: Everything's better in flip flops (but I prefer bare feet, according to John)
Books or Movies?: Depends on my mood
Night or Day?: Day
Dark or Light?: Light
Mountains or Beach?: Beach
Snow or Sun?: The sun after the snow!
Pepsi or Coke?: Diet
Guys or Girls?: huh?
Swim or Surf?: Swim

For or Against

Gay Marriage?: This is totally NOT the forum for that discussion
Abortion?: Against, but again, see above
Bush Getting Re-elected?: Oh dear God.
Suicide?: This whole section is way too controversial for LiveJournal surveys
War?: All we are saying is give peace a chance
Pants?: What about capri's?? are we discriminating against them now?
Clothes In General?: Yeah, I'm a fan
Penises?: Yeah, back up to the top of this section

Favorites

Color?: Red
Number?: 11
Holiday?: Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and Easter
Season?: Autumn
Movie?: I have lots at this point
Book?: I don't really have one favorite
Magazine?: Country Living and Cosmo! (Which I haven't received them this month and I'm getting a LITTLE mad)
Food?: the edible kind
Drink?: Milk, or rum and coke, depending on what the type of drink you're getting me is
TV Show?: CSI, Law and Order: SVU, umm... I liked Dancing with the Stars... ummm.....
Song?: I don't have a favorite at the moment

Band?: Mike Previti is my favorite solo artist
Computer Game?: The sims!!!
Video Game?: Final Fantasy 9
Anime/Manga?: Not so much
Shirt?: Probably my massively huge blue sweater
Pants?: My gray ones
Actor?: Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp,
Actress?: I like Sandra Bullock, umm... pretty much I like the ones that stay out of the limelight!
Singer?: Mike Previti
Flower?: Sterling Roses and Sunflowers
Scent?: I like Vanilla, but I have this spiced cocoa candle that I can't wait to bust out!
Animal?: Big cats
Cookie?: Oreos!

The Future

Want To Go To College?: Been there, done that
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toy's R' Us kid!
Want To Get Married?: not again! I like the marriage I have!
Want To Have Kids?: Yeah!
What Would Their Names Be?: That changes almost daily
How Many?: John says 2, I want three... guess we'll have to take the national average of 2.3 and a dog
Where Do You Want To Live?: My house, in the middle of my street
Where Do You Want To Get Married?: Why doesn't anyone write surveys geared towards people that are already married?!
How Do You Want To Die?: Not slowly and painfully, that's for sure

More Stuff About You

Piercings?: One open one in each ear
Tattoos?: None
Smoke?: Nope, never will
Drink?: Occasionally
Do Drugs?: Only the legal prescribed kind (and some vitamins and stuff)
Skinny Dip?: Oh yeah, every morning in the shower
Greatest Fear?: Failure
Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate!
Go To Church?: Every Sunday at 11... well, sometimes it's Saturday's at 4, and this past Sunday it was at 8:30
Religion?: Catholic
Scars?: Yeah, random ones like on my hand and my foot
CDs Owned?: Yep, I have some
Collections?: I collect cats. Live ones. But then John makes me give them away. I collect other random papers on my desk. No real collections though
Like To Be Naked?: Not particularly
Ever Eaten Sushi?: Yeah, but I didn't like it
An Entire Case Of Oreos?: Oh, now they come in cases??? last quiz I took, they came in boxes.
Been On Stage?: Indeed I have
Danced In The Rain?: Only once, but I was not in very good company
Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex?: Nope
Weirdest Dream?: Well, there was this one that I was on a bus because Portsmouth got bombed....
Best Dream?: The happy ones!
Saddest Dream?: Any where someone I love ends up dying
Dream You Most Wish Would Come True?: I don't think I would want anything that happens in my subconscious to really come true, it would be far to weird
Think You're Attractive?: depends on the day
Shoplifted?: Plead the 5th
Been Caught "Doing Something"?: Oh yes, I do "something" quite frequently. Right now I'm sitting at my laptop, and John caught me.
Weirdest Makeout Place?: I'm not weird enough to have a "weirdest makeout place" so we'll have to go with the rear facing seat of my parents Taurus when I was in high school
Like Thunderstorms?: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite Shoes?: Bare feet. And flip flops.
Favorite Quote?: "Vivir con miedo es como vivi a medias."
Best Advice Given?: "Do good, don't suck."
Worst Advice Given?: "do good, don't suck."=)
Favorite Song Lyric?: I supposed I'd have to have a favorite song first...
What Quote Says Most About Your Life?: What's with the quote obsession?
Glad This Is Over?: Yeah, it's freaking bedtime now.

My Big 35 List

So, I've decided to write a list of things I want to do before I turn 26. I'm probably going to need a lot of love and support to get some of them done, so your encouragement is much appreciated. Just remember, it is a work in progress.

Without further ado:

MY BIG 35 LIST
1. Take up yoga again
2. Loose 30 pounds
3. Join a gym and work out regularly
4. Take ballroom/latin/swing dance lessons
5. Start writing in my prayer journal more
6. Finish Final Fantasy VIII, IX and X
7. Start nursing school
8. Walk more
9. Watch less TV
10. Read the stack of books on my bookshelf (there's like 7 up there!)

Stupid UTI's. I'm home from work again - I went to the doctors last night and sure enough, I have another one. Ugh.
I'm sure my job has something to do with the fact that my body can't seem to fight anything off. I'm sure it has to do with the stress my job puts on me. I think the PA-C that I saw yesterday might have been starting to get to that when we were talking about my job yesterday. She asked if it was emotional and stressful, and I told her it was. She was like "Yeah, I can't imagine being under the level of stress you must be under sometimes." Then we had the discussion about what do I try to do to keep myself healthy. I jokingly said "I get sick so I can take a day off." And she was like "You know, there's probably something to that..."

Anyway, that's about it from here. Be on the look out for lots of stupid quizzes today.

Your Vocabulary Score: B

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

Your Daddy Is Darth Vader

What You Call Him: Old Man Why You Love Him: You don't love him, you just love calling him "daddy"

Who's Your Daddy?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Your Travel Profile:

You Are Well Traveled in the Northeastern United States (43%) You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Canada (40%) You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the Southern United States (23%) You Are Mostly Untraveled in Southern Europe (20%) You Are Mostly Untraveled in Western Europe (7%) You Are Mostly Untraveled in the Western United States (5%) You Are Untraveled in Africa (0%) You Are Untraveled in Asia (0%) You Are Untraveled in Australia (0%) You Are Untraveled in Eastern Europe (0%) You Are Untraveled in Latin America (0%) You Are Untraveled in New Zealand (0%) You Are Untraveled in Scandinavia (0%) You Are Untraveled in the Middle East (0%) You Are Untraveled in the Midwestern United States (0%) You Are Untraveled in the United Kingdom (0%)

How Well Traveled Are You?

You Are Italian Food

Comforting yet overwhelming. People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.

What Kind of Food Are You?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

Your Learning Style: Idealistic and Flexible

You enjoy learning anything that can help others... from making the world more beautiful to saving lives. You Should Study: Architecture Environmental Science Fashion Design Forestry Interior design International Studies Literature Music Nursing Restaurant management Studio Art Veterinary Medicine

What Should You Study?

Home again...

I'm home sick again today. Shocked? Yeah, I didn't think so. I have a fever today, which basically is an automatic "get out of jail free" card. I'm probably going to do some work around finding a new job - I should look up a book that my friend Liz recommended to me about the way I've been feeling - Quarterlife Crisis. Anyone heard of it? I hadn't, but I'm going to look into it today. Sarah M., maybe you should look into it too! I'll let you know what I find.

Anyway, there's not much to report. That's really it, actually.

Oh it's on now...

The job hunt, that is...

Have you ever hit a point in your life where you just realize, suddenly, that you want a complete and total career change? I suppose they call it a mid-life crisis. But what is it called when you're 25? I hope this isn't my mid-life crisis, because what's going to happen when I'm 50?? Will I be dead or something?

Lots of people I know have been going into nursing - either they're in the program now, or they're starting it in the spring. I really wish right now that I had never left the medical field - I love it so much, I love the knowledge that comes from working in the field, I love the feeling of really making someone better.

I don't know - it's hard to explain. I haven't even had the conversation with John about it yet. But I want to talk to him about how much I miss the medical field - even if it's to work as a medical assistant! I'd do that if I had too, if we couldn't afford for me to go to nursing school or become a surgical tech. Both of those programs are two years at the NH Tech school, which is great - because I've done a lot of the lower level classes to get my Bachelors from UNH already.

It's so weird. I wish I just knew what I wanted already.

A little better now

I'm doing much better now than I was in my last post. So that's good. Yesterday Kim and I went to the Christmas Tree Shop - I got all kinds of Christmas decorations and whatnot, so that was good. Oh, and wrapping paper. Which is always a good thing to have. I LOVE wrapping Christmas presents, and I can't wait until I can start. I guess in theory, I could start now, because I have some gifts that need to be done. I'd feel weird wrapping Christmas presents before Thanksgiving though, so I'll just have to put it off for another two weeks. It'll be good to be done with it though.

Anyway, Kim and I had a BLAST shopping - or at least I did. We had this wicked scary waiter when we went out to lunch at Ruby Tuesday, though. I don't remember his name, but he was just scary. I ordered a Sprite, and Kim said she'd have the same, so his response was "do you want hers or do you want your own." Kim and I are like "huh???" Yeah, we weren't poised to think on that level. I'm never poised to think on that level, but especially not when I have to do it from a waiter. I know that it's a hard job and you've got to do something to lighten your day, but making your customers feels stupid is NOT the way to do it.

Alright. Enough about that. I get to have a good, relatively relaxing weekend finally! We have some yard work to get done today, and we have to vacuum the house. Otherwise, that's about it. Oh, and grocery shopping. Yeah, food is good. I like food.

Not a whole lot to report on today, other than to say that I had so much fun with Kim yesterday - I hope the Christmas Tree Shop in Portsmouth goes through! Then we can go shopping AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD go out for milkshakes at the Friendly Toast!

Is it over yet?

I need to find a way to go to my happy place. I've been in such a horrible mood all night, and John just got home, is in the shower whistling that fucking song from the Polar Express soundtrack, and I just want to go in there and punch him. Not because I'm mad at him, but you know how when someone does something that for no particular reason just pisses you off like it's nobody's business? Yeah, that's how I feel about it. He's been home for all of 45 minutes, and I've done nothing but look forward to seeing him all day... It doesn't help that I've had dreams about him cheating on me lately, and I've just been so rediculously down on myself that I can't even stand it. I so don't want to go to work tomorrow either, for fear of flipping out completely on someone. Did you know I have 27 cases on my caseload. Yeah, you read right - TWENTY - FUCKING - SEVEN. 9 weeks and counting until my year is up. I'm DYING to get out at this point. Like you have no idea. It's like I keep saying - I have tons of respect for the job, and I totally believe in what people in my job do. But I can't do it. I can't! And I'm sick of pretending that I can, or trying to tell the world that my job is great and wonderful and I love it. I don't love it! I don't love the awesome responsibility that comes with it (and I don't mean the awesome like the "Hey cool!" awesome), and I don't love the fact that I never know if I've made the right choice.

Anyway, I need to stop ranting for tonight. I have to. Or everyone will start to think I'm nuts.

Going to my happy place now. Wake me up in February.

My new glasses...

So I have a whole new look =) I got some new glasses today, which I'm exceptionally excited about. They're much different than any that I've had before, which makes me happy, but they're not totally wacky looking like some that I tried on today. I don't have any photos of me wearing them, yet, but when I do, I promise to post. But I'm really excited about them, because I'm going to be wearing them much more often. Granted, I will still be wearing my contacts, but my contacts can be really expensive, so I'm trying to mitigate the cost slightly by wearing my glasses more, so I had to get some I really wanted to wear. John says he likes them, which is important to me, because no one wants to be married to someone who doesn't want to look at them anymore!

Our basement has finally stopped flooding, as well, which is exceptionally exciting! My father in law is going to be coming over to help John with the pump on Friday (I'll be far, far away, shopping at the Christmas Tree Shop with Kim!) and hopefully that should be the last of it. John wants to wait until the end of November to put the room back together, but I say the sooner the better! I found this new flooring online that looks like it could be a good idea. One of my moms coworkers daughters used it in her basement, and they love it, because if anything happens to their basement, they don't have to pull it up and it doesn't get wrecked. So I think we should look into that.

John and I are a little upset about the way plans for Christmas have been unfolding lately. We were discussing with our respective families this weekend about how we are having everyone over for Christmas (I know, it's early to be planning yet, but it's good to know where everyone will be for the holidays) and right away his mom starts in with "Well, how are we going to do gifts, what if Melissa's parents get us something?" and so on and so forth. So then I'm talking to my mom, and she's all "Well, we'll just give you your gifts another time, and we'll just have a nice dinner and visit on Christmas." And I'm all "HOLD UP!" This is NOT how Christmas is supposed to work. Tell me if this makes sense: Have Christmas with your respective immediate families (opening gifts, whatever it is you do), then everyone gets together and opens presents together. The Streeters don't buy for the Cardins, the Cardin's don't buy for the Streeters, and John and I are just left in the middle. Does that make sense to everyone else?

Anyway, I'm going to go watch the Patriots game now. Catch y'all later.

Working on being better at posting

I'm trying to get better about posting in this thing more regularly. How'm I doing so far? Too bad none of them have been real updates.

Have you ever had those times in your life where you're just so... down on yourself? Like, you feel like you suck at your job, that you can't wait to get out, but it doesn't look like you have any options open to you? I've started applying for jobs that come up in the school systems in our area - I've applied to a guidance position at Farmington High School already, but no word on that. There was a school services coordinator position here in Rochester. I didn't apply for that, because I asked them to send me a job description, and I wasn't qualified enough, but my father-in-law sent me an e-mail yesterday saying that they're still hiring because he saw it in the paper. So since they've been looking for a few months, I think I'll go ahead and apply for that too. You never know, I might be just what their looking for!

I've also been looking into work at home options, such as medical transcription, but my God! medical transcription courses are REALLY expensive! Over $1,000, and I've seen them as much as over $3,000 in some places. We just don't have that kind of money. I wish I could just take a typing test and be certified in it. I took a typing test to see how fast my typing is, turns out I type 61 WPM with an accuracy of 94%. So I'd probably be much faster if I weren't so damn accurate =)

But anyway, I started having a conversation with John the other night about what part of the problem is about me going out to work. His logic? You have to be comfortable in your work environment. For what ever reason, I can't get comfortable outside of home. So he's been supportive in me trying to find a work from home option. Plus, when we get around to having children, that will be a much better option, because we could save a ton on daycare. Plus, I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but with the prices of things necessary to live, it just wouldn't work.

So I guess that's about it... Maya (aka "Kat") is moving out today, which is a good thing. As sweet as she is, and as much as I like her, she does nothing but terrorize my pets. So I find myself getting mad at her more than not, because she's made Molly and Maggie so skiddish. But it'll be good, she's going to live with my aunt, so... yeah.

Alright, time to let Kane out for the morning. This time change is going to really screw him up.

Just a quick update

For those of you who haven't looked, my homepage has been totally revamped, stylistically (is that how it's spelled?? I have no idea.). I will be transferring old posts over there for a while, but that's not totally done yet.

For those of you who heard about "Kat", we have found her a good home - she will be going to live with my Aunt Pat in Concord. She moves again this weekend. Her new name is Maya, and I'm sure she'll do well over there. She's a super sweetie, and I wish we could keep her, but John is adamant that we not have another cat.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. I am SO ready for the weekend.

Carpet in the basement

Last week was a rough one at work, and it's only going to get worse. I've been filing on a lot of families lately, and I actually have to trials to testify in next month. Not excited about that at all.
Friday night I got home from work and let Kane out of his crate, only to discover that our carpet in the den in the basement was totally soaked - and I mean soaked. We went into the unfinished part of the room and there was water everywhere, but we couldn't figure out where it had been coming from because it was all in the middle of the room. So we spent a good portion of Saturday night drying it out. We were up until 11:30 or so working on it. We had FINALLY started to make some headway, so we went to bed. The next morning I got up, went to let Kane out, and SPLASH!! Right down into the den. Oh. My. God. So I let Kane out, and the floor is TOTALLY soaked again. I mean absolutely DRENCHED. Fortunately nothing has been ruined, except maybe the carpet. So we go to church, then we went to Home Depot to get a new wet/dry vac, because we were borrowing my dads. His didn't have any attachments with it, so we sent it back to him with my sister that night. John sucked over 14 gallons of water out of the carpet alone, and it was STILL soaked. And I should add that it wasn't even the whole carpet that was wet, just around the edges of the room, but it was coming out from the wall like 2 feet or more in some places.
We can't figure out where the water is coming from or anything. So we called the insurance company and we had these people over today to dry out the basement. They said we did a good job mitigating it, but they ended up ripping up the carpet so the floor could try out, as well as the walls. They'll be back on Wednesday to pick up the 5 industrial fans and the industrial dehumidifier. I can't wait to see our electric bill for October. Ugh.
Anyway, I'll keep the world updated when I find out more from the plumber. I need to go pick up some stuff before he gets here.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had done things differently. Now, don't get me wrong, I am very, VERY happy with my life right now. I love my husband and my house and wouldn't trade them for anything! But yesterday I was walking through downtown Portsmouth on my way to a home visit for work, and I walked past this apartment building that really made me wonder what my life would have been like if, say, I'd gone to college in a different town, or if John and I didn't reconnect and eventually fall in love, etc. It was this big ol' brick building, the kind you would see in Boston, or Washington D.C. Okay, definitely don't get me wrong, I really don't want to live in either of those places, but you get what I mean, right?

Sometimes I wonder if my life had been done differently if I would have better stayed in touch with my friends from high school and/or college. I feel like the people I was such good friends with and I have drifted apart so much that I don't really know anything about them anymore, but I feel like I should be so much more in touch with them. Maybe some of it has to do with my recent discovery of the anxiety I have when I go out.

That's a whole different story though. I've recently started paying more attention to(though I've been aware of it for some time) the almost paralyzing anxiety I get when I go out somewhere, ususally by myself. There are some places that I don't get it - my next door neighbors house, work, church, church related meetings, out with a friend (so long as it's something that I initiate). But that's about it! But I'm okay when it comes to having people over. It's really bizarre.

Work was awful today. One of my clients was arrested last night. Another one was indicted on perjury charges. It seems like every time I turn around one of my assessments is blowing up, or I'm getting a new one to add to my caseload of... well 17 currently. Then if that's not bad enough, I'm getting yelled at by my supervisor because I was out sick all last week and my supervisor was yelling at me today about how I've got to make time in my day tomorrow to see three families. That's not so much the issue, as I've got to be at RCIA at 7pm. I really need to be there because I missed last week due to being ill and I CAN'T miss this week. I was, and am, really excited about being on the team this year that when I told my supervisor that it was going to be hard to fit all of that in because I need to be in Dover at 7pm and she said "Well, I guess you'll have to make it work." Or something to that effect. I came home totally ready to cry and I'm SO ready to be done with this. I just can't continue like this.

Anyway, that's enough ranting and raving for tonight. Oh, I'm having a jewelry party on Oct. 11th at 7pm. Its a Wednesday. If you're interested in coming, just e-mail me an RSVP so I can plan enough snacks.

I've been sick most of this week. There's this aweful cold/flu thing going around right now, and I was bound and determined to head it off at the pass. When I woke up on Monday, I felt like I'd been punched in the head, so I figured that I would take the day off and hope for the best by drinking a lot of water and relaxing. Then Tuesday I got up and was getting ready for work... and my tummy had other plans. So I stayed home again. Today I got up, again felt like I'd been punched in the face, but went to work anyway. Well, at 11 I was making my way back home again because I couldn't focus at work. So I came home and have been trying to nap and stuff since I got home. Ugh. It's such an awful feeling.

I met with Delia yesterday, and I sat there and talked about my job for about 40 minutes. By the time I was done ranting about it, we came to the conclusion that as passionate as I may feel about child protection, and as much as I believe in the job and what child protection is for, it is not something I can do. Delia basically said that she thought I would do well working in a school. That's a good thing to hear from someone in a similar field as me. So I've gotten my résumé all updated and such, and now it's just a matter of continuing to look until I see just the right thing. I'm really excited about working in a school. It will be nice to be on a similar schedule as John too. Not to mention summers off... it would be really nice to be able to volunteer for a while during the summer, I like that idea a lot. Or maybe take a couple of classes to work on my masters degree. That would be awesome too.

So now I'm just working on my laptop in the living room. Nick is coming over to visit John and I tonight. I feel bad for him, he and his girlfriend of several years just split up the other day. I hope John and I might be able to give him some help, sinc ewe've both been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing since the get go.

Oh, and for the record, I've started playing Jedi Academy. And yes, I'm probably going to be joinging the RA (for those of you involved that read this).

It's just another manic... Thursday?

I suppose I should start by raving about my new laptop. w00p w00p! Yeah new laptop! I'm going to be trying to sell my old one to my sister. My new one is another Dell Inspiron, but it's much more of a gaming system. Not that I'm a big gamer, but like... The Sims runs a million times smoother, and I can finally learn how to play Jedi Academy, which is much easier for me to play than Jedi Knight. JK, for some reason, makes me motion sick, but JA does not. So I started the training game tonight. And I can't figure out how to use force speed. So I need help. Anyone out there that can help me?

My sister moved in with us on the 2nd. That's been an adventure. I haven't had any major problems with her being here, little stuff, but we've been able to clear most of it up. The problem I'm having has been with my mom lately. My mom has been totally driving me nuts about my poor sister. But Kate's been hired at the Weathervane (thanks Mike!) and she starts there on Monday. That will be good.

Work has been work... not a whole lot of news there. I've had a few totally crazy days lately, and really long ones! Monday I didn't get home until 8pm, and I vow I'm NEVER doing that again if I could avoid it. Most of the time I think I am just going to quit when my year is up. But then I have a day that makes me think I could do this for a long time. I don't know. It's so hard to say. I guess I'll have to keep looking until I find just the right thing.

I feel like this entry is rambling, because I am watching that new show Happy Hour on Fox. It's very entertaining! My two new favorite shows are 'Til Death and Happy Hour. It's nice to watch stupid comedy.

My sister moved in with us Saturday. Then took off to go back to our parents house yesterday. She'll be back tonight and tomorrow night, then will have to drive back again on Wednesday so she can work at her old job. Her boss agreed to keep her on until she gets her Christmas bonus, because she's slated to get a pretty large one this year. Which is good, I guess, but it's going to make it very hard for her to get a job in this area.

John is downstairs working on his computer, but it's nice having the three day weekend to be able to spend time with him. We've had a good weekend together, and it's been fun. We both decided that we would become lectors at church, so that will be good. I'm excited about doing that. I'm meeting with Father Damien on Wednesday to talk to him about some other stuff, so I'm going to RSVP for the training on it for us that day.

It's been so crazy lately, I've been in this limbo between wanting to have a baby and wanting to wait a little longer. I've really been enjoying the time that is just John and I, but then I see someone with a baby, and I am just like "awww, I want one!!!" It's so hard. John and I will really have to talk about it, because of all of the medical stuff that I'll have to deal with in order to get pregnant. But that is definitely a conversation that I need to have with John. I would love to have a baby, but I love being able to just hang out with John.

I am not sure what else to update about, so I guess I'll wrap this up.

Just another update.

I've reached the epitome of laziness when it comes to blogging. I'm at the point now where I just write in one for like... a month. Then I go onto MySpace and just copy the whole thing for the REST of the world to catch up on. I'm not sure if any of you have noticed that my entries on MySpace have become friends only... Probably not, but that's okay. I wish that LiveJournal would do something like MySpace though - show that a post was made, but that you have to be a friend to read it. (I can't believe I just said I wish LiveJournal did something like MySpace. It's usally the other way around!)

I've been feeling super mushy towards John lately. I don't know if he's noticed, or what, but it's really weird. In a good way. I think. =) I might be biased though. So I'm sad because he's out at a rehearsal tonight. But last night was fun, Janelle, me and Kim got to go to his last Gilford Community Band concert. That was a good time. Kim and Janelle seemed to hit it off alright (correct me if I'm wrong, guys!)

But Janelle came to see me!!!!!! I was so excited! We got to hang out, and talk about people that we went to high school with, and people that we went to high school with that we have found on MySpace. It was so nice to just catch up with her! She looks fantastic too, she's dropped a ton of weight since high school, she's a little skinny minnie now. I must have gained it all =(

Anyway, I guess that's about all for now.

Mushy entry alert! Mushy entry alert! Mushy entry alert!

There, now don't say I didn't give you fair warning!

I love it when I have weekends that my husband can do no wrong. I love weekends in which everything he says or does makes me fall in love with him an infinite number of times more than I loved him before (which was an awful lot to begin with!)

I can't really pinpoint anything specific that John did for me this weekend. I can't think of any one magical thing that happened that made me really head over heels crazy. It was just like... the whole weekend we had so much fun together that it couldn't have been much better! We celebrated John's 26th birthday on Friday like we always do - with a round of mini golf and an adventure in Ogunquit. But for some reason, it was just an incredibly nice weekend!

The other thing that was really nice was that John told me that I was beautiful. There's something so wonderful about hearing that from the person you love! He doesn't say it much (not that I think he thinks I'm ugly on a regular basis), but when he does, it makes it amazing. On the flip side... I wish he would say it more. It does wonders for my self esteem! He also told me twice this weekend how proud of me he has been about financial decisions I'd been making. Not that I haven't deserved the pride that he's giving me (because I have, dammit!!!), but it was just another one of those things that I don't get to hear very often, but love to know he feels that way. For some reason, there is something incredible about knowing your husband (significant other/partner/bf/gf/whatever) is proud of you. Those are two things I need to hear more of in my life.

Anyway, I'm done being mushy now. I'm going to look for a replacement for the Christian Fish that was on my car that someone stole off it...

Playing catch up

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

I figured it had been a while since I last updated, and so it was time to play some catch up. I don't really feel like I have a lot to write about though.

I can't remember if I touched on our camping trip in my last post. That was a lot of fun - the Hancock Old Home Days was a good time, but I was sad that my family, due to circumstances beyond anyones control, had to cancel our family reunion that usually happens that weekend. But Old Home Day's was still fun. We had fun cooking at the campground on the open fire - we ate more s'mores than I care to think about! I guess that's part of the fun of camping though. We had a massive thunderstorm move through the last night we were there. Poor Chris and Kim - everything in their tent got soaked! And our poor dog, he was such a good sport. We had to keep him in his crate all morning because he was soaked and it was pouring out! So when John and I were finally at the camp ground long enough, we let him get into the car and we turned the heat on. Then he was finally happy!

Work is still... work. I had a 6 month review, in which my boss basically said I was doing a good job. Just a couple of things to work on. We had this discussion about how I'm finding that I have some days that I just don't want to come into work the next day, and then some that make me really love this job. Now I need to try to be attuned to what makes a day fall into one of those categories. I've decided that when my year is up, or almost up, I am going to start looking for a new job. This is not the job I was meant for, and you know? That's okay with me. I wouldn't have known it if I hadn't done it. So now all I can do is go in, do this job as best as I can, and go from there. Who knows, maybe something will happen in the next 4 months that will make me really love the job...

Yesterday we took John back to school shopping. I picked up a couple of shirts for myself. It was fun though! Friday was his birthday, so I took the day off from work, we registered our cars, then went up to Ogunquit for the day. We played two rounds of mini golf at Wonder Mountain - they have two courses there and we played them both. I got 3 holes in one! And John got 2! It was so cool. Then we went down to the beach and found two really huge shells. Next it was on to Perkins Cove, where we spent over $8 in the candy store. I LOVE that store. Maybe I'll have some salt water taffy for breakfast... mmmm. That night we hit up Margaritas in Portsmouth for dinner. Also mmmmm. =) I've had a really awesome weekend with my husband this weekend. It great when you feel so connected to someone - and that's exactly how I felt. I have felt very in tune with him this weekend, and that we were on the same page the whole time. It is SOOOO nice when that happens. Plus, it helps that I got a few unexpected but very welcome comments from him. He told me how beautiful I was the other night. It's not that I don't think he thinks it, it's that he doesn't say it! I almost cried from happiness when he said it. Then yesterday he told me he was proud of me for the financial decisions I'd been making. Not that I didn't think I deserved those too, but it's not often that I hear that type of thing from him. Keep it coming! My self esteem has needed those kinds of compliments lately.

I guess that's about all from here. I'm gonna go watch infomercials on TV and feed Kane...

Randomness

1. Do you really make wishes when you blow out the candles on your cake?
Yes.

2. Have any of the wishes ever come true, if yes?
Yes, they absolutely have!

3. How do you feel about birthdays? (e.g., love the attention, just another day, don't want anyone to know my real age, etc.)
I love having the attention, but at the same time, I hate having a big deal made of it. It makes me sad when I don't hear from people though. So thanks to all you who sent me happy birthday wishes!

4. Tell us a favorite gift you've received, or something you'd really like for your next birthday.
John gave me a hammock for the back yard this year! Fucking dog...

5. What flavor cake?
I like marble personally

And from [info]fortysomething The Friday Four:
1. How far back can you trace your roots? Does your family tree have any tales to tell?
Umm, Great grandparents on my moms side, and not really... Except that I am distantly related to the guy who said "Don't shoot until you see the white's of their eyes" in the Revolutionary war.

2. Who in your family are you most like? For example, do you have your father's big nose and your grandmother's lovely singing voice?
Not sure, I'm adopted.

3. Is blood thicker than water? Have you ever severed contact or drifted apart from anyone in your immediate family?
Well, having been adopted, not really. I think it's a personal thing.

4. How would you react if you learned you had a sibling (or close relative) you didn't know about? If you have experienced this, how did you react?
Been there, done that, and it's a very surreal thing. Not bad, and not necessarily good (I hope none of them take this the wrong way!), just surreal. I kind of don't aknolwedge that we're even really related until well after the fact.

Random Thoughts

I must be quite the site to see when I get out of my car in the morning at work. Especially on the days after I have a late home visit the previous day. I'm like... manuvering myself into unnatural positions just so I can fit out the door because the cars are all parked too close together. I realized just how amusing it must be when I do that when I pulled in this morning and there was a couple of women standing outside staring at me while I was doing my morning exercise routine of getting out of my car.

On a happier note, I finished the Poisonwood Bible finally! It only took me almost a year. Not because it was a bad book, but because I didn't discipline myself to sit down and really read it. So maybe in a year or two I'll re-read it. Now I've moved on to Dreams of Trespass, it's about a girl who grew up in a harem. One of my coworkers said it was a good read, so I bought it at this cute bookstore/cafe in Berwick. All the books are used, and the hot chocolate is amazing. I love shops like that. I could live in one. I should open one some day. Maybe I will. Kim could come work at it with me. It would be a piece of cake for her! How's that sound Kim? We can run our robotic kitchenware business out of the back room.

Camping this weekend - w00p w00p! We're bringing Kane with us, and I've spent a lot of the night getting ready to go, preparing food that can be cooked over an open fire and getting all sorts of other stuff ready too. Especially Kane's stuff. I just realized that I haven't packed any of his cookies in his bag, but I've got just about everything else! Tomorrow we'll just need to remember his water bowl, because I have a travel food dish for him. I'm so excited to go - I haven't been camping in a long time!

Saturday is my birthday too, so that will be fun. 25 years old - quarter of a century. Wow. It's also Hancock Old Home Days, which means parades, craft fairs and the thrift shop! Saturday night brings with it Kimballs and the Jaffrey Fireworks. Yeah Jaffrey Fireworks!!! It should be a cool one, I guess they're doing classical music this year. Who can miss a show called "Classically Pyro?" Dave T, this one's for you!

Toronto!

Toronto was a ton of fun! I posted all of the photos on my Yahoo photos website. It was a lot of driving and I am pretty sure I hate riding in a car now though. Friday we drove to just outside of Syracuse to stay in a hotel. Then the next morning we headed up to Niagara Falls (the Canada side) and had lunch and got to see the falls. It was really neat! We took a lot of pictures and movies there. Then we headed up to Toronto. That was good - the place we stayed, Casa Loma Inn, was really pretty. In John's words, though, the service was lacking. It was just one woman running the place and we never saw her except to check in. It was a little less personable than the other places we'd stayed on our honeymoon, which is kind of unfortunate. But our room was beautiful - made me kind of feel like a princess! It was strange to be sleeping in a king size bed - John and I could toss and turn all we want and we never smashed into each other! Not to mention, having an air conditioner in the bedroom was a welcome change also. Saturday night we went to Medieval Times. I love that place. Love it, love it, love it! Oh my goodness. I've been three times now, and every time I just love it! I told John that if there was a Medieval Times in NH, I would quit my job in a heartbeat! I am so fascinated by medieval stuff. I should really start researching it and becoming more familiar with it.
Sunday we took a tour of Casa Loma and that was so cool! There's a bunch of pictures of that in the photos too. That afternoon, we went back to Niagara Falls and did the Maid of the Mist tour, which is when you go on a boat and they actually take you out into the falls. We got soaked, but it was so much fun! Then we did the Journey Behind the Falls, which was a fun too, but the Maid of the Mist was much better. It was a really neat place to be at night, they shine colored lights on the falls which makes them look so pretty. It's a really cool natural wonder that we learned a bunch about. Monday we just drove home. It was a long drive, but fortunately we didn't kill each other! We definitely got snippy a few times, but it happens.
The bummer all weekend was that I had a wicked sore throat. So we got home and I felt like I had a fever and that I was really getting sick. I didn't even sleep at all last night and I called out from work at 3:30am today. I went to the doctors and the nurse practitioner thinks that it's either a serious case of strep or mono. My glands are super swollen and I have all these white spots in my throat and all kinds of good stuff. The ARNP was like "How can you even swallow?!" and I was like "Very carefully!" I have a fever, which has been making this really hot weather really interesting. My body feels hot, but internally I feel really cold. Does that even make sense??
I hope it's not something that makes me be out of work a lot. I don't have the time available to be sick!
As I started to mention briefly in my last entry, I'm taking a family to court. The very first one in almost 8 months. I can't believe it took this long for me to file on a family. Not complaining though! I'm a nervous wreck about it though. I have to face the family in court on Wednesday on the CHINS petition that was filed on the kid, who has his own issues.

Now is the hour of our discontent...

I couldn't tell you what that's from. Mainly because I can't remember. But it pretty well sums up how I've been feeling about my job lately. Distressed and discontent. Work has got me really stressed out. And I'm starting to take all of the major illnesses I've had this year as signs that this may not be the job for me. There has to be some reason why I've been hospitalized for a kidney infection that actually wasn't, not to mention the pain in my side and now this last bout of strep/mono/we-don't-know-what's-wrong-wi

th-you that lasted just about a week and had me flat on my back from Tuesday through Friday. Odd that I happened to catch that on the same week that I was supposed to go to court and file on my first family.

I tried to talk to John about it last night. I don't know if it was that he didn't hear me or if it was that I don't really know how to describe how I've been feeling about it. I tried to explain to him that it just doesn't feel right. The job doesn't feel like a good fit for me. That despite being passionate about who the Division is and what the Division does, I'm just kind of mediocre at it, and that I'm never going to get much better at it. He tried to tel me I might want to get out of assessement and into family service. Well, I knew from day one that I did not want to be a family service worker, and now I'm not sure assessment is where I want to be. I think I missed my calling. Everyone I knew kept saying I should be a teacher, I should be a teacher. And I always said that I wouldn't have the patience to be a teacher. Now I can say that I don't have the patience to deal with stupid parents. And I know that even though I'd have to do that as a teacher, I don't have to try to tell them how to be better parents, when I don't even know the first thing about rasing children myself.

I don't feel like I connect with my supervisor at all, so I'm going to keep my eyes open and see if I can transfer into the Rochester office if they get an opening. Maybe that will help with some of it. But I don't think that will be the final fix. I keep trying to look into geting my M.Ed. but it just seems like such an expensive and tedious plan for someone who can only go part time. If I go the M.Ed. route, I can become a guidance counselor or something along those lines, and I know I would enjoy that much more. The other thing I think I would enjoy is working for an agency that helps people apply for jobs. You know what I mean? Teaching someone how to write a résumé and fill out a job application seems like it would be such a rewarding thing - and then when they get hired?! How exciting!

My biggest problem is that I have so many interests in so many things that there is just no way to tie them all together. I could probably bounce from job to job for the rest of my life and never be completely happy with one of them, but always really enjoying the idea behind the job.

But like I said - I think I'd be happiest working in a school. John and I would be on similar schedules, which would be REALLY nice when we get around to having kids. If we could afford the pay cut, I would become a sub in January and start taking some classes to work towards an M.Ed, but I know we couldn't afford that. If I made $70/day working all five days, I'd only be grossing $350/week. That's before taxes, and then with the mortgage on top of that, it would never work.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all really bored with reading about the fact that I'm pretty sure I want a new job come January, so I'm going to stop bitching about it and get outside to enjoy the weather.

Oh, and it was from Richard III.

Feelin' hot, hot, hot!

Today John and I went out with Chris and Kim to go to the movies, we saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest. It was wicked good! I love Orlando Bloom. Johnny Depp is a good actor too, but I LOVE Orlando Bloom. Overall, I thought the movie was pretty good, but at the same time, I still liked the first one better.

John and I have been camping out in our basement the last two nights, and probably will be for the next few nights too. We have a futon down there, so we pulled it out, threw a couple of sheets on it it and boom, new bedroom. It won't be a permanent change for us, but it's definitely been nice being cool when we go to bed.

Anyway, that's all the news here...

A day in the life of the mundane

Not much really exciting going on - I'm just trying to get better at posting on a more regular basis! Work is still work, I am still enjoying it for the most part... I guess it's not a good thing when the highlight of your week is that you get a new desk though... Kane is doing well, and the cats are doing pretty well. Stuff at the house is alright. I still really love having the house and having this huge space that is ours. It's a really nice feeling to know that I am HOME. We can paint stuff, change stuff, do pretty much whatever we want to the house, and it's cool. Of course, that also means we have to fix stuff, like John is trying to do right now... He's not entirely sure what it is, but he managed to blow half of the upstairs power. But the circuit breaker didn't get tripped. So now he's taking apart some of the light fixtures upstairs to find out what's going on, and he keeps going up and down and up and down... I told him to call his dad 45 minutes ago, but he was finally able to get it.

I'm debating making my LJ a friends only place to read... I feel like I don't get the freedom to write everything I want in here. So, post your thoughts and comments about this being switched to a friends only space. If you don't have an LJ account, but still want to read this - you can always get one and never have to post anything.

Thoughts?

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Hope everyone has something fun planned - I know I do. It's called "a day off from work!" So this morning I slept in a tiny bit (not too late though) and then got up and started just doin some stuff around the house. The main reason I didn't sleep too late is because of Kane - the handsome dog you see pictured. He is the newest addition to the Cardin household, we got him last Tuesday! I hadn't posted anything about him yet, because we wanted to surprise people with him at our cookout (and boy was my mother-in-law surprised!) so I had to wait to post anything. Now I have the time to do it!

So yes, we now have Kane, along with our two cats, Molly and Maggie, and we have quite a busy little household, considering we don't have any kids! That's okay, we're not complaining about the not having kids part - pets are expensive enough for us right now! Kane came to us from the Freecycle listserv I'm on, his old family wasn't able to take care of him anymore, so we happily agreed to take him. He'll be a year old in about a week, and we're pretty sure he has separation anxiety - we can't go anywhere without him following! Don't even think about trying to put him in the back yard while we're in the house - all he'll do is jump on the slider and try to come back in. We're going to build a gate on our deck to make sure he actually stays in the YARD so he'll go to the bathroom on his own. We've had a few accidents with him, but mostly we attribute that to two things: 1) we don't know what all his indications are that he needs to pee, and 2) That he doesn't realize he's not done when he DOES pee outside and forgets that he has to poop too. That's been fun.

So anyway, over all, he's a good boy, and we've really enjoyed having him. Good thing too, were going to have him for the next 14 + years, I would guess.

So thanks to everyone who was able to make it to our cookout on Sunday, it was nice to have so many people there! I wish more of our college friends had been able to make it, but we figured that was the luck of the draw with the weekend we chose. Maybe we'll do another one around Labor Day or something, to officially end the summer. And in case anyone is wondering, Kim is feeling much better now.

That's really about all the news from here though. Not a very exciting post, I know. But if you're interested in coming over and meeting Kane, please e-mail me or something!

There's more to life than before my eyes...

Such a great song. I love that song. It's super! Partly because it's so true. Good job Mike - you were being very smart when you wrote that one!

But seriously folks... I just had the worst week at my job. You know, the kind that makes you want to just walk out, quit, and pray you never face anyone from that place again. It had nothing to do with any of my coworkers, they're all fine. It was just my clients. What a nightmare. I can't go into details, the whole confidentiality thing, but just take my word when I say they're all CRAZY!!!! Thursday night I drove home from work in tears, because I felt like I just sucked at my job. That's going to make getting up for tomorrow's day that much worse. Fortunately, I'm getting out at noon, because I have a doctors appointment. Nothing bad, just a checkup.

Back to my job, though, it was just such a horrible way to spend a week, and unfortunately, my supervisor was at a funeral for a lot of the week, so it made it really hard to talk to her about any of it. So on Friday, I just wanted to dump on her, and she started trying to get me out of her office. It sucked!

John shaved off his beard the other day. He knows how I feel about that. I've made it very clear. I was so disappointed when he came downstairs with no beard after showering one night. Now, remember I just said that I had a sucky week at work. So on Wednesday when he was home, I wasn't in a great mood from the get go, and then that happened, and I just freaked. I stopped even talking to him, and finally just snapped and went to take a nap. I probably totally overreacted to that part of the whole week, but still... It's just frustrating when you tell someone that you know you like them better one way, and it doesn't seem to matter. I know he said he wanted to do it, and thats fine... he just looks like someone totally different with out it! It made for a very awkward transition for me. I still like him better with, but I'm getting used to seeing him with out it again. It just makes me think of the John I knew back in college when I see him with out, and the John I knew at UNH and I really had nothing in common. So, I'll reiterate, I like him better with. But I'm adjusting to him with out it, and it's nice to know that I can still be physically attracted to him with out it.

So in the mean time, I cut my hair all off yesterday. Short. I haven't had it this short in years. We're talking up around my ears short. It looks good, if you ask most people, and I like it too, but John hates it. HATES it. All he said when I walked in the door was "You cut off all of your hair!" Well, I didn't exactly run out to compliment him when he shaved off his beard. He knew I was contemplating it, but I don't think he thought I would have just done it. Kim came with me, though, which was awesome. We had tons of fun yesterday. I'll get to that some more in a second though!

So, yeah, now my hair is short. John's starting to get used to it, but he still doesn't like it any better. Kind of like me with his beard. I'm getting used to it, but I don't like it any better. I feel kind of bad, because I did to it, to some degree, because I wanted him to know what it felt like to have that happen. At the same time, I enjoy wearing it short, and this was pretty much the deciding factor. But I think it looks good. Last night I was really mad at myself for doing it though, because I still wanted to make sure that still found me attractive. At the same time, it was good to kind of see where the line of what he likes and doesn't falls.

Anyway, I'm rambling. So to get on to Kim and I having a ton of fun yesterday: We went to the mall, made an appointment for me to get my hair cut at Hair Excitement, then went to Bath and Body Works, then left and I got my hair cut, then we went BACK to Bath and Body Works. We both bought some new body cream lotion stuff, and some massage oil, so that was fun. Then we left and got milkshakes at the Friendly Toast - best. milk. shakes. ever. We laughed a lot, which was awesome, I love it when I get to laugh hard with my friends! So we are TOTALLY doing that again, Kim, okay? You don't have a choice. Even if I have to kidnap you and drag you kicking and screaming back to the Friendly Toast! -_^

Alright, I've got to get going. I keep like... half falling asleep while trying to type, which could be why this entry is so all over the place. But oh well.

Random bout of insomnia

You know the nights when you're so tired you can barely hold a conversation with someone whom you haven't seen all day, but then you try to go to sleep, and sleep just won't come? Yeah, that would be me right now. It's kind of strange, being awake and being 2 floors away from John, and being able to have lights on in the middle of the night. I'm not complaining, not in the least! Just noting the oddness of it. I suppose the newness of such things will wear off the longer we've been in the house.
The house has been pretty awesome, aside from the random leak in the upstairs shower. But the plumber fixed it, and the sheet rocker is coming in, oh, about 16 hours to fix the hole in the ceiling the plumber left behind. I'm just glad it will be done in time for our housewarming cookout!
There really isn't a whole lot of news, otherwise. My sister graduated from high school, which is awesome, I'm super proud of her. She's become such a cool person to hang out with, so I'm hoping that we'll get to do it more often now! My job is still... well, I guess it's about the same. It's been keeping me crazy busy with these 5 and 5:30pm home visits. I'm so sick of being out until 6:30, 7, or sometimes even 8pm! I'm glad that after my 2pm home visit that I'm doing tomorrow, I'll be coming straight home. Straight home to hang out with the sheet rocker and to mow the lawn, but at least John will be home to do one of the two. Plus, I can wear comfy clothes while chillin' with the sheet rocker.
Well, it is beginning to appear that my playing online has been good for my drive to sleep, as I am beginning to nod off while sitting on the futon. So it's off to bed for me... I didn't get the nick name Take Two for nothing!

Life in the White House

Yes, for those of you who haven't seen it, my house really is white. So I can say that, and it's okay. Anyway, I can't even begin to tell you how great it is to be in our house. Despite our little plumbing problem (and it really was minor), it's been awesome. It'll be even more awesome when we get the lawn mowed. We've been living here for 2 weeks almost and still don't own a lawnmower. Thankfully, a guy I work with, Matt, has one that he is trying to sell, so he said we could buy it. Now it's just a matter of getting over to his house after work some day this coming week to get it. I'm hoping for Tuesday, but it'll probably be Wednesday or Thursday before I do. Fortunately, John's dad is going to bring over his lawn mower tomorrow and do our lawn for us, and try to fix the railings on our front stairs. Most of you probably didn't know that our railings were loose, and John was able to pull one right off. So Dad C. is going to come over and repair them tomorrow, and mow our lawn. That will be awesome to come home to a mowed lawn. And railings, but we don't use the front door, really. It'll just make it look nice again.

As for the plumbing fiasco... Well, on Monday the 5th, I was in the shower, and John discovered that our upstairs shower was leaking through the ceiling onto our movie rack. So he moved it and put a cup under it. Then that night when he showered, it didn't really do anything. To make a long story short, we discovered that the longer the shower, the worse it leaked. So yesterday we had the plumber over to look at it. Fortunately, it just needed to be repaired with some putty. But everything in our ceiling was soaked. So this wasn't something that was new. Fortunately, none of the wood had rotted, and there was no mold or mildew, so that was good. So we just need to give it about a week to air out, and then we've got to have someone come and patch up the ceiling. I don't really know who is going to do that, but someone will.

So that was the great adventure of plumbing. Other than that, it's just been life. Trying to get back into a routine when the last thing you want to do is leave your new place is really hard! I was out of work sick twice last week, so I think this whole moving thing has just been hard on me, physically. I think it drained a lot out of me, and so I was more susceptible to illnesses.

Last night I went out with John and a bunch of his friends to go see the new X-Men movie. It was okay, but not my favorite. As one of John's friends said, they were trying to introduce too many new characters. Yesterday, I also got us a new DVD/VCR combo for our living room. That is exciting! Today we went to look at new TV's so that we can put the one that's upstairs down in the den, and we'll get a new one for the living room. But we're having a very hard time deciding between LCD or plasma. Any imput on the subject would be appreciated. The one we having in our living room now is an LCD.

I guess that's really about it. Sorry this is such an uneventful update. But it happens. In the words of Westly from "The Princess Bride": Get used to disappointment. =)

We're In!

Okay, so I'm a slug for not posting sooner. But things have been crazy! We are in our new house, which is fantastic! We've been crazy busy unpacking and painting and stuff like that. For any of you that have seen the "green room" and the "blue room".... well, they're still green and blue, but they're not ugly anymore. That's happy!
I should back track... Tuesday was the big day - our closing was at 9 in the morning, so we were going nuts getting everything into the uhaul and out of our apartment on Monday. Now that we're in this huge house, I can't figure out for the life of me how we were able to function in that apartment! It's nuts! Our stuff is so spread out now that it's hard to imagine how we fitted it all into the apartment. So on Tuesday, my dad, my sister and my grandmother showed up at the apartment so my dad could drive the u-haul, and my sister was driving the truck with the washer and dryer we were getting from my parents in it. I had my car and John had his. Armed with a cat each and trunk fulls of stuff, we headed for Rochester. We dropped the cats off at the house, went to the closing, then came back to find my family and Chris H. unloading the u-haul. Kim was keeping an eye on the cats to they didn't get out, which was a huge help. The move was ridiculously stressful for them (but they've recovered nicely now). Johns parents came over about 1/2 an hour after that, and my cousin Bonnie, who now lives 17 miles away (very exciting!!!), came down. Between everyone, we unloaded the u-haul pretty quickly. John and I spent the rest of the day moving boxes around, putting away stuff in the kitchen and the bedroom. The remainder of the week has just been getting stuff unpacked, but the only room that's really left to be done now is the den. Yesterday, Kim and Isaac came over to help us paint the green room and the blue room. That was great! Kim and I pounded out the green room in about 20 minutes, because John and I had done all of the trim work that morning. Then Isaac had to leave because of his allergies (sorry dude!) and John, Kim and I managed to get the blue room done too. I was SO excited about that! Now I don't have to work on those next week, so if the weather is nice, I may do some gardening. Now, I'm not much of a gardener, but our yard needs some landscape work. So I may just go down to Home Depot and make friends will all of the people in the garden center.
ANYWAY.... That's the week in a nutshell. It's been so great being in our own house. It's a slow realization that if we don't like something in the house, we can change it and we don't have to ask someone about it! So painting those two rooms was extremely liberating. Plus, I love to paint, so it was all good. And Kim, you are my new favorite panting buddy, so when it's time for John and I to tackle our bedroom or the den, guess who is going to be called first?? =) Thanks for all of your help yesterday, it was very much appreciated! You were a HUGE help!
Well, I'm off to go hang curtains in the blue room. Hopefully today I'll be able to get John to work on the den a bit, but I make no promises there.
Peace, love and granola to you all!

Countdown is almost over!

It's Sunday. We move on Tuesday. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am!!! Getting into our own house and everything - I can't believe this is really happening! I have a picture of it on my desktop, and sometimes, when I look at it, it just hits me - this is going to be ours! It will be our place, not my parents, not John's parents. Ours to do with whatever we like - plant whatever flowers we want, paint rooms whatever color we want... The list goes on. It's the coolest feeling in the world!
The packing and stuff really got to me last night. It hadn't been until last night, when I was looking around at all of the stuff we still hadn't packed yet, that I just went to John and told him that it was really starting to stress me out. But John got a lot of the kitchen packed, and I did a lot around my desk and doing some of my clothes and shoes and such. I didn't "pack" a lot of my clothes, but I left some out that are the ones that I'm going to wear for the next few days, basically making the rest of my wardrobe off limits. Though I am going to go through all of my clothes again today and weed out anything that I don't wear often enough to pack and take with us, so that way I can bring it over to Goodwill tonight. Convenient having a Goodwill right across the street.
My Pampered Chef business did very well during the month of May. I qualified easily, having one show that reached almost $1000 on it's own, then another the very next day that reached over $500. That was incredibly exciting!!! I earn a bunch of new free things because of it now! However, my bookings (the shows I have booked) for the month of June are non-existant. I'm running a catalog show, which is great, but I really need the sales for the month of June, and it's not looking like it's going to be a very strong month. So, if anyone is interested in earning some free and discounted kitchen items, please contact me!!! Catalog shows are the easist thing in the world to do, so if you live a ways away from me, that's no problem! Or, if you just don't have the time to do a cooking show, that's no problem either! If you're not interested, I appreciate referrals!!!
Okay, enough groveling now. Friday I chaperoned John's 7/8th grade band field trip to the Great East festival and to 6 Flags. The festival went so well - both the chorus and the band got gold medals, which was very exciting. The kids were all on their best behavior at the festival itself, so that was good. When we got to 6 Flags, the weather was decent, but after we got in the park, John and I went on a couple of rides, and suddenly the skies just opened and it started POURING. So we (and all of the other chaperones) managed to get all or most of the kids together, and say "okay, do you want to stay?" (Keep in mind, because of the weather, they shut down most of the rides.) Most said yes, some said no, but we waited it out, and said we'd all check in again at 5. That seems to have worked out, when we reconvened, again, most said "we want to stay!!" because they had opened all of the rides back up again. So finally we were like "Fine, but at 6:30, that's it, we're done." So that went over moderately well for the most part. There were some kids that were just soaked all day, and most of them didn't seem to care. I was freezing, but I was glad the kids were having fun. That's who we were there for, it was most of the Chaperones that wanted to leave early. So I was glad that we stayed until 6:30. That was only an hour earlier than we were scheduled to leave, so it worked out.
I should probably go eat some breakfast or something. We have all this food that we're trying to use up before we move, and there's an entire gallon of milk in the fridge that we have 2.5 days to use up. Oops. I guess we thought we'd go through it faster.
Oh, and *hugs* to Kim for being accepted onto SSI, I'm very excited for her. And thanks to her and Chris for coming up to help with the big move on Tuesday. We appreciate it guys!

Whew!

All I have to say is T G I F dude. I'm beat! Fortunately I was out of my training by 1pm, and I took comp. time for the remainder of the afternoon, which was good, because I really need to catch up on some sleep. Last night was my big night out on the town - small town girl driving down to Boston all by herself! It was great though. I went to Harpers Ferry to see my buddy Mike Previti's CD release show. If you've looked at my last few postings, you'll see that it's all I've been listening to. If you went out in bought it, you know why. =) If you haven't bought it yet, I'm not speaking to you again until you own it. And it has to be a legal copy. Don't try to download it for free. I'll beat you up if I find out you're doing that. =) Okay, not really, but you get the idea.

ANYWAY... I went to Allston last night, and the show was AWESOME!!!! Not that I would have expected anything less from Mike. But even so - I can't even begin to put into words how excited I was to be there, and to hang out with him and Mic and all of the rest of the guys in the band, and all this other stuff. Once I learn how to post pictures in this blog, I'll put some up from the show. For now, you'll just have to look at my Yahoo! Photos site.

So, now that I've talked about that... There isn't much more to write about! 11 days until we're into our house and I am so excited! We're having a "Load the U-Haul party" on Monday the 29th if anyone wants to come help us get everything into the truck. We're having an "Unload the U-Haul party" at the new house on the 30th, if anyone wants to help us get it all out again =) Okay, I guess thats about it for now. Again, Mike, awesome show last night - let's not wait another 6 years to do it again!

Rain, rain, go away

I am so sick of this rain! It's enough to make a woman crazy! They said the sun may come out for a few hours on Wednesday. For the first time in almost 2 weeks, I think that will make it. There's all this crazy flooding, and I'm going nuts waiting to hear from our realtor who was supposed to put in a call to the selling agent of the house we're buying. Half of Rochester was evacuated, and we're trying to find out what, if any, damage there was to our house! It's something I think we'd be entitled to know about.
Besides, the rain is just depressing. It's so hard to get up and go to work when it's POURING out.
Anyway, I've got to go switch the laundry. Again. Just wanted to make the 2 WEEKS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!!! post. Because I'm so excited to be in our house!!!