Tell A Gal Pal!!!

Every day, one in three women die as a result of domestic violence.

Scary number, isn’t it? Here’s another scary one: three out of four women know someone who is affected by domestic violence. That means that you probably know someone who is affected in some way.

The National Coalition of Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. Violence against women is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and sometimes death. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and truly last a lifetime.”

Domestic violence (DV) is a scary reality for many men and women in the country. It is an important topic to discuss. Women especially, need to talk openly about domestic violence. Tell your Gal Pals – whether it’s your best friend, sister, mother, daughter, niece, cousin or neighbor – to face domestic violence, share their opinions and experiences and show support for survivors.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has some tips for people who want to help a friend or family member:

Don’t be afraid to let him or her know that you are concerned for their safety. Help your friend or family member recognize the abuse. Tell him or her you see what is going on and that you want to help. Help them recognize that what is happening is not “normal” and that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.

Be non-judgmental. Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. He or she may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize his or her decisions or try to guilt them. He or she will need your support even more during those times.

Encourage him or her to talk to people who can provide help and guidance.Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Offer to go with him or her to talk to family and friends. If he or she has to go to the police, court or a lawyer, offer to go along for moral support.

If you need help getting a conversation started with a friend or loved one, visit ClickToEmpower.org for easy ways start the conversation, check out resources for survivors or read inspirational survivor stories. This website is a wonderful resource, and even has information on local DV coalitions in your area.

How can you help right now?

For each person who “likes” the Click To Empower! Facebook page, The Allstate Foundation will donate $1 to the National Network to End Domestic Violence (up to $20,000). Click here to go to the Facebook page.

The Allstate Foundation will donate another $1 if you take the pledge to Tell a Gal Pal about domestic violence. As part of the pledge, your photo will be added to the “Faces of Support” gallery to show survivors that they aren’t facing domestic violence alone.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call: THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233

I wrote this blog post while participating in The Allstate Foundation’s Tell a Gal Pal blogging program with TwitterMoms, making me eligible to get an interview with Cheryl Burke. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

10 ways to make your favorite foods healthier

ORIGINAL POST DATE: September 6, 2010

Over the 9 months, my husband and I have been working to make our diets a little healtheir. Mostly this is because we have a young daughter and we want to be healthy for her, but also because we want to model a healthy lifestyle for her. So here are 10 ways we’ve come up with making our food healthier.

1. Use whole wheat or low carb pasta. I’m particularly a fan of Dreamfields brand pasta – it’s low carb, but you’d NEVER know it to taste it! It’s lower on the glycemic index, making it great for people on a low carb diet. You can barely taste the difference between it and “regular” pasta.

2. Try frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. Many kinds of frozen yogurt are creamy, and still come in fun flavors like cookies & cream or Moose Tracks (YUM!!!). It’s lower in sugar and fat, making it a great alternative.

3. Use corn flake crumbs instead of bread crumbs. You’ll barely taste the difference, but they’re lower in calories than most bread crumbs.

4. Use brown rice or long grain rice. Again, this is lower on the glycemic index, making it a better choice for people who enjoy a low carb lifestyle. Brown rice is flavorful, and makes a great add in for stuffed peppers, fajitas and so on.

5. Use ground turkey in place of ground meat. The two are interchangeable, so you can pretty much use them however you want. Turkey is lower in fat, but is still full of a meaty flavor. It’s a great alternative in meatloaf or soups and chilis.

6. Use applesauce in place of oil in cake mixes. The flavor is almost identical, but don’t use any sort of flavored applesauce, or you WILL skew the flavor of your cake!

7. Eat whole grain foods whenever possible. You’ll find them to be more filling, so you’ll eat less. Plus, whole grains are a better source of fiber and protein.

8. Eat Romaine lettuce instead of Iceberg lettuce. Romaine has a higher amount of fiber, B vitamins and folate. It also contains more calcium, potassium and trace minerals–and it has seven times the vitamin C and 18 times the vitamin A.

9. Add two cloves of garlic to soups, sauces, stir fries and stews. Garlic is great for heart health, and help lower LDL (bad) cholesterol.

10. Opt for organic whenever possible. This can definitely be a problem for those trying to live within a tight budget, but it’s definitely something worth exploring. A study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that one in every two people tested positive for one or more of up to 116 chemicals that were coming from food. However, if that doesn’t fit in with your finances, be sure to wash all your fruits and veggies thoroughly.

I wanted to include a widget on the sidebar of this post, but unfortunately, it wasn’t working in my blog, so I couldn’t share it with you. I hope these tips help you get on your way to having a healthier diet. I know they’ve definitely helped me! Happy eating!

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and WeightWatchers SmartOnes blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

10 tips for back to school savings

ORIGINAL POST DATE: August 10, 2010

With back to school shopping getting under way around the country, parents are now looking for great ways to save money. Here are some ideas to help you save a bit of cash.

1. Shop in your house first. Look through your closets, cabinets, junk drawers and anywhere else you can think of to see what you already have. You may not need a new pack of pencils if you’ve got 10 that are still usable. You may find a calculator, making it so that you don’t have to buy one. While these items may not seem expensive, they can definitely add up quickly, especially when shopping for more than one child. Let kids decorate old binders with stickers or photos to jazz them up. Instead of buying book covers, use paper shopping bags that kids can write on and decorate themselves.

2. Coupons, coupons, coupons. Kind of self explanatory, you’re going to save extra when using coupons. You’ll save even more if you can pair them up with sale prices at stores.

3. Shop for clothes after school starts. You’ll get a good vibe at what’s going to be the fashion trend, and prices will be coming down as new things start coming out for the next season.

4. Stick to the class list. Many teachers say that they are amazed at the number of students that come in with things they probably won’t use. If your kid is going to need it, it will be on the class list.

5. Decide how much you can spend, and stick with it. Don’t be afraid to let your kids know that there is a limit on anything they might want for school, and anything above and beyond either needs to wait, isn’t needed, or will have to come out of their piggy bank.

6. Pounce on the “loss leader” items at stores. You know the ones, the 10 cent spiral notebooks or the 25 cent box of Crayola crayons? But don’t go overboard. If you find out that the pens are on sale this week, buy the pens. If filler paper is on sale next week, wait until then to get it!

7. Separate wants from needs. That pencil sharpener that lights up may look really cool, but it’s going to be a distraction in class. The $1 three pack of sharpeners will do the same job without getting the child in trouble.

8. Buy basics in bulk. If there is a great sale on notebooks at the store, stock up. Your kid will probably need a few over the course of the school year.

9. Buy quality when necessary. If you buy that cheap backpack, it may break during the school year. If you replace it with another cheap one, it may break again. If this keeps up, you’re going to wind up spending more money on cheap backpacks than you will on one quality one that will last for four, or even eight, years. Leaky pens may cost more than that if you have to replace your son or daughters school uniform or clothes because you can’t get it out.

10. Invest in fun, reusable lunch-ware. Reusable water bottles and lunch boxes are better for the environment, and will save you money in the long run. It’s cheaper to buy juice in a bottle than to buy single serve juice boxes or pouches. It’s easy to find BPA-free plastics now, so spend the money ahead of time, and you’ll get a return on your investment at the end.

I hope these help you save a little bit of money while planning your back to school shopping trips. Share your favorite tips in the comments section!

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Staples blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

ORIGINAL POST DATE: July 12, 2010

Many, many people said I should read this book. They’ve been telling me this for years, and now I know why. I suspected that I would feel sad when I reached the end of this book, which is why I put it off for so long.

I’ve learned, though that it really isn’t the case at all. Let me tell you why.

Morrie Schwarz, a Brandeis University sociology professor has an extraordinary personality, and a debilitating, life ending, disease. Mitch Albom, the author, had developed a friendship with Morrie while attending the school, but after graduation, despite his promise to keep in touch, moves on with life, always reaching for the next big thing.

He happened to be channel surfing one night when he saw his old professor being interviewed by Ted Koppel on Nightline about what it was like to be dying of ALS (also known as Lou Gherig’s Disease). This leads him to get in touch with his old professor, and they strike up their friendship again. Albom visits Morrie every Tuesday (“We’re Tuesday people,” Morrie had once told him, p. 52), always coming armed with food, and each week, Morrie manages to impart some facet of wisdom that seems to be so common sense.

Morrie spent his life listening to his heart and doing what was right for him, rather than playing by societies rules. When all is said and done, we will be remembered not by our bank accounts or stock portfolios, by by the time we spent listening to a friend or helping a family member.

There are some amazing quotes to be pulled from Alboms book, some of which I plan to use as personal mantras: “The truth is, you don’t get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives satisfaction? … Offering others what you have to give.” (p. 126)

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” (p. 52)

This book is a must read for anyone, young or old, male or female. I don’t think this book will necessarily appeal to any one group in particular. But it’s definitely worth every minute of the short time it will take to read it.

Free Range Kids – revisited

ORIGINAL POST DATE: July 10, 2010

I realized after I wrote my post last night about Free Range Kids that I needed to make some clarifications on my exact thoughts.

I agree in the idea of free range parenting, but obviously it has to be within reason. The age of reason is around 7 years old. It would be stupid to expect that my 2 year old, right now, would understand the “rules of the road” to ride a tricycle down our street. She doesn’t have that capability yet. By the same token, if she’s playing in the sandbox here at home, I’m not going to stand right next to her, I might hang out laundry or read nearby. That way, I can make sure she’s not eating sand, or something that will make her sick, but she doesn’t have to play a certain way either.

I agree that the way she advocates for free range does seem a little extreme. I don’t think I’d let a 9 year old ride the NYC subway alone, but maybe an 11 or 12 year old. I think that staying within earshot is reasonable. I also think that it’s definitely a highway/road safety thing, at least for me, than being afraid that my kid gets a scrape on their knee. It’s a good way for them to learn how to cope.

I hope that explains my position a little better!

Free Range Kids

ORIGINAL DATE WRITTEN: July 8, 2010
So, the other day in the car, I’m listening to NPR. (I know, I’m boring. My daughter actually asks me to turn on the news in the radio now, and she’s only 2.) They have a woman by the name of Lenore Skenazy on there talking during the show I’m listening to. Now, at this point, I’ve never heard of this woman, nor the concept of which she is speaking. But I decide to listen.

Skenazy is discussing this idea of Free Range Kids. And the more I listen, the more I realize that thats the type of parenting I want to do for my daughter. It’s the idea that parents need to allow kids the freedom to “explore” the world we live in – ride the subway alone, walk to the neighbors house, play outside, get dirty, all without the parent hovering (think: opposite of helicopter parenting).

She isn’t saying that parents should be passive and not pay attention. By all means, supervise your kid. Don’t let them bike down the road if they don’t know the proper rules to do so safely. Don’t let your 2 year old wander into someone else’s yard to play with an unfamiliar dog.

In Skenazy’s own words, copied from the Free Range Kids blog: “We are not daredevils. We believe in life jackets and bike helmets and air bags. But we also believe in independence. Children, like chickens, deserve a life outside the cage. The overprotected life is stunting and stifling, not to mention boring for all concerned.”

It’s common to find parents that feel that our world has become less safe, but statistically, Skenazy finds, that just isn’t true. ”Over at the think tank STATS.org, where they examine the way the media use statistics, researchers have found that the number of kids getting abducted by strangers actually holds very steady over the years. In 2006, that number was 115, and 40% of them were killed.”

I grew up in an extremely small town, with a population of about 1,500 people. My parents never locked the door when we left the house, never locked the car when running to the store, and didn’t worry about leaving me home alone when I entered 5th grade. Now I live in a city with a population of 30,000 people, and we don’t go anywhere without locking our house and our cars (as of recently, we can’t even leave the cars parked in our driveway for the night without someone ransacking them, apparently, but that’s for another post.) However, we also know that we are confidant enough in where we live that we can let our 2 year old play outside while we sit on the deck with a book. We aren’t afraid to let her toddle off a little ways ahead of us while visiting the beach so that she can check out some rocks before we tell her that she’s climbing too high.

I, personally, believe that Free Range Parenting is a good thing, and I am not afraid to admit it. I think our society has become so over-informed because of our constant access to information, that we just aren’t willing to think that maybe, just maybe, our kids are safe.

“Not that facts make any difference. Somehow, a whole lot of parents are just convinced that nothing outside the home is safe. At the same time, they’re also convinced that their children are helpless to fend for themselves. While most of these parents walked to school as kids, or hiked the woods — or even took public transportation — they can’t imagine their own offspring doing the same thing.” Skenazy makes some exceptionally valid points in her blog.

I would strongly encourage ALL parents to look at her blog, read it, absorb it, and then decide what works for you and what doesn’t. Take a good, hard look at the statistics about crime in our country. Children are far more likely to be abused or otherwise mistreated in their own homes than by a stranger. Keep that in mind, the next time you decide to let your child ride their bike to the neighbors house, one block away.

Another Writing Gig!

So, I'm sure you know I write for Examiner.com as the Manchester Family Recreation Examiner. But, last night, I was approved as the Manchester Social Services examiner, as well! This makes me really exited, because I will finally have a regular forum that I can share information that comes to me through work or other means.

Last night, I started by writing a story about 2-1-1 NH, which is a phone number people can call to get information on basic things, and referrals to different services that can help. I don't think enough people know about this service, so I'm really happy to be able to start sharing this with people!

So, if anyone has any information that they think would be relevant, please let me know!

I'm so neglectful!

Okay, it's been a really long time since I've done an actual blog post. I spend a lot of time working on my writing for Examiner.com that I find myself neglecting my blog a lot. It's kind of sad, really. But the writing for Examiner has been going well. I've also been doing some freelancing for Parenting NH magazine. I had two articles published in the spring, and will have a third published in October.

John is back to school now. He had three teacher days last week, and will start with his students on Tuesday. One more day off tomorrow, then he's back to a relatively normal schedule, holidays aside. He's been busy with gigs and lessons this summer, but the fall will slow down his performance schedule a bit. He'll be picking up some new students this fall, which is exciting.

We did some projects around the house this summer, like power washing the house, staining the deck and ripping up (two!) linoleum floors to tile the kitchen, which looks fantastic. We still need to lay the decorative tile we're going to put down between the kitchen and living rooms, and then the project will be done.

Hannah is growing and changing every day, which is really fun to watch. She's starting to talk a lot and is using to "use her words." We're still attending moms group at Frisbie Hospital on Wednesdays, but that will change after she turns two, because she'll age out of that group at that point. We'll look into going to a story hour at the library at that point, as well as going to play groups with Little Sprouts, which she can stay in until she's 5.

I never got the chance to post her 18 month photos, so I will put them up here:




I'm hoping to start finding some time to get out and do more "adult" stuff on my own too. I joined a knitting group that I haven't gotten to go to once yet, and would love to get there before the end of the year! =) I'm also hoping to maybe join a book group, but I've got so many books I want to read before I get to do that! I'm currently reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer, and before that I read the entire Twilight saga in 8 days (also by Stephenie Meyer), and I have read Lucky by Alice Sebold, The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood, and The Shack by William P. Young, all of which were excellent books. I'm re-reading the Twilight saga as well, but now that I'm on the 4th book again, I've sort of put it back on the back burner so I could get through the rest of my "to read" list. I want to re-read the Chronicles of Narnia for fun, and I want to read Crime and Punishment because I found it at a library book sale for $1. I've also got a copy of Memoirs of a Geisha that I've been looking forward to reading too, and I've had my eye on Unconventional by J.J. Hebert.

I guess that's about all from here. Hope to start getting into posting more often again, now that we'll be back in our routine!

Throw it at the wall and see what sticks...

Today I did it.

I took the plunge.

I submitted a final draft of an article I wrote for publication to a local parenting magazine base in New Hampshire.

I'm trying to take on some extra work as a freelance writer for some local magazines, so I got my first article finished and sent off to the editor about five minutes ago. This is really exciting for me, and if they accept it for publication, you all will be the first... 10 to know =) Pay for freelancing isn't great, but it's some extra spending money that would cover a weeks worth of groceries and then some, so it's pretty exciting.

I wrote my article about attending a moms group and the benefits you can reap from going to such a group as a first time parent.

Anyway, that's the big news from here. The family is doing well, John is busy with weddings this fall for some odd reason. Of course, I'm in a wedding this coming Saturday, so I guess it's just a busy fall for weddings this year. John is playing in a different wedding, so my in-laws will be babysitting Hannah for the afternoon on Saturday. Kerry and Dave (my college roommate and her boyfriend of like... 9 years) are getting married (finally!) on Saturday, so it will be a fun time. It will be a tough day for me too, because I will be away from Hannah overnight for the first time, but at least I know she'll be safe at home with her dad for the night.

Speaking of Hannah, I have lots of photos to update!!!

Hannah has discovered a cool new hiding place

Hannah sitting with her grandad on Saturday night.

Hannah and Daddy at the cider pressing party and lobster bake

My "artsy" photo of Hannah and I

Hannah's pumpkin hat.