Free Range Kids

ORIGINAL DATE WRITTEN: July 8, 2010
So, the other day in the car, I’m listening to NPR. (I know, I’m boring. My daughter actually asks me to turn on the news in the radio now, and she’s only 2.) They have a woman by the name of Lenore Skenazy on there talking during the show I’m listening to. Now, at this point, I’ve never heard of this woman, nor the concept of which she is speaking. But I decide to listen.

Skenazy is discussing this idea of Free Range Kids. And the more I listen, the more I realize that thats the type of parenting I want to do for my daughter. It’s the idea that parents need to allow kids the freedom to “explore” the world we live in – ride the subway alone, walk to the neighbors house, play outside, get dirty, all without the parent hovering (think: opposite of helicopter parenting).

She isn’t saying that parents should be passive and not pay attention. By all means, supervise your kid. Don’t let them bike down the road if they don’t know the proper rules to do so safely. Don’t let your 2 year old wander into someone else’s yard to play with an unfamiliar dog.

In Skenazy’s own words, copied from the Free Range Kids blog: “We are not daredevils. We believe in life jackets and bike helmets and air bags. But we also believe in independence. Children, like chickens, deserve a life outside the cage. The overprotected life is stunting and stifling, not to mention boring for all concerned.”

It’s common to find parents that feel that our world has become less safe, but statistically, Skenazy finds, that just isn’t true. ”Over at the think tank STATS.org, where they examine the way the media use statistics, researchers have found that the number of kids getting abducted by strangers actually holds very steady over the years. In 2006, that number was 115, and 40% of them were killed.”

I grew up in an extremely small town, with a population of about 1,500 people. My parents never locked the door when we left the house, never locked the car when running to the store, and didn’t worry about leaving me home alone when I entered 5th grade. Now I live in a city with a population of 30,000 people, and we don’t go anywhere without locking our house and our cars (as of recently, we can’t even leave the cars parked in our driveway for the night without someone ransacking them, apparently, but that’s for another post.) However, we also know that we are confidant enough in where we live that we can let our 2 year old play outside while we sit on the deck with a book. We aren’t afraid to let her toddle off a little ways ahead of us while visiting the beach so that she can check out some rocks before we tell her that she’s climbing too high.

I, personally, believe that Free Range Parenting is a good thing, and I am not afraid to admit it. I think our society has become so over-informed because of our constant access to information, that we just aren’t willing to think that maybe, just maybe, our kids are safe.

“Not that facts make any difference. Somehow, a whole lot of parents are just convinced that nothing outside the home is safe. At the same time, they’re also convinced that their children are helpless to fend for themselves. While most of these parents walked to school as kids, or hiked the woods — or even took public transportation — they can’t imagine their own offspring doing the same thing.” Skenazy makes some exceptionally valid points in her blog.

I would strongly encourage ALL parents to look at her blog, read it, absorb it, and then decide what works for you and what doesn’t. Take a good, hard look at the statistics about crime in our country. Children are far more likely to be abused or otherwise mistreated in their own homes than by a stranger. Keep that in mind, the next time you decide to let your child ride their bike to the neighbors house, one block away.