Grandma Says I Can Pick My Battles

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I work outside the home two days a week. I'm lucky enough that Hannah gets to come with me one day, and that my in-laws, who live just off the highway directly on my way to work, happily baby sit Hannah the other day. They'd take her both days, if I needed them too. The convenience is great, and their flexibility is a god-send for us.

Hannah typically has a good day there. She eats, she takes her nap, she plays more than I am sure I am aware of. But, part of that is because I've learned to pick my battles with my mother in law. I don't approve of leaving the TV on all day, even if it is on PBS. I think some down time from the TV (and other screens) is nice. It gives us all the chance to recharge on our own terms, Hannah included. My mother in law, from what I can tell, has the TV on all day when Hannah is over (probably except when she's napping). As much as it bugs me, it's not really a safety issue for a 13 1/2 month old.

If Hannah's had nothing but applesauce for lunch for the last 4 days, and I tell my mother in law that, but she still feeds her applesauce for lunch, I am not going to say anything, because she's doing me a favor by 1) watching Hannah and 2) making sure she's getting a healthy lunch.

So when will I pipe up and say something? First and foremost, I will say something if it's a safety or dietary issue. My mother in law suggested giving Hannah some molasses mixed with milk when she was younger to help with her spit up. Though she was well-intentioned, I am sure, I did make sure to clarify that I did not think that was okay for my daughter, and that her pediatrician did not approve of that measure either. (If worse comes to worse, you can always pin it back on the pedi!)

Second, I will say something if what she is doing affects Hannah's day to day life. She used to give Hannah her pacifier at times that she really didn't need it, such as when she was just playing, content, and not in need of it. Since John and I never really wanted to worry about Hannah having her pacifier be a crutch for her, we addressed that with his mother right away. From what we can tell, she is very good about it now.

Picking battles with Grandma only helps maintain sanity. If I started nit-picking everything both of Hannah's grandmothers did that I didn't want them too, it would be a full time job trying to keep them in line! But instead, I savor the time I have with Hannah, rather than worrying about what she's going to have for lunch at her grandmothers house tomorrow when I go to work.